It’s Not That All Immigrants Are ‘Animals’ It’s Just That MS-13 Gang Members Are ‘Animals’ And All Immigrants Are Obviously MS-13

“Wait, which monsters: MS-13 members or all undocumented border crossers? Pfft, is there a difference?”

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China Offers Trump $200 Billion Trade Deficit Cut – But Does Trump Really Want A Deal?

Deal or no deal?

Rudy Giuliani – Who Is NOT Senile, OK?! – Thinks James Comey Set Great Example For Robert Mueller

“When Comey closed [the Hillary Clinton case] in July — although I think it was a complete whitewash — I’d like to have them do that for us.”

Now We Know Why Trump Wants To Make ZTE Great Again (Hint: Trump Org Got A $500 Million Bribe From China)

“BECAUSE IT WAS A $500 MILLION SACK OF CHINESE CASH!”

‘Be Cool’ ‘Murika, Trump Needs To Make China ‘Great Again’ For A Minute Then He’ll Get Back To You

“President America First will be … Making China Great Again! Just as he promised the forgotten men and women in Real Murika on the campaign trail.”

‘What The Hell Happened?’ Michael Bloomberg Slams ‘Epidemic Of Dishonesty’ At Rice Commencement

“However, today when we look at the city that bears Washington’s name, it’s hard not to wonder, ‘What the hell happened?’”

Do You Speaka The English?! John Kelly Accidentally Says His Ancestors Shouldn’t Have Been Allowed Into The U.S.

“Look, the USA simply doesn’t have room for people who don’t speaka the English. People like the second wife of one of John Kelly’s own great-grandfathers.”

Sarah Huckabee Sanders: Trump Taking Money From Special Interests Is ‘Proof The President Isn’t Influenced By Special Interests’

The sky isn’t blue.

In Retrospect, AT&T Realizes Paying Michael Cohen Was A Terrible, Terrible Idea

“Well, this is awkward.”

‘Who Knew Michael Cohen Was Leonardo da Vinci?’ Trump Lawyer Trolled As Novartis, AT&T Struggle To Explain Ties To Porn Star Slush Fund

Now, everyone listed in that document is scrambling around to try and explain exactly why they wired a shit load of money to a shell company that, among other things, was used to payoff a goddamn porn star who (allegedly) spanked the President of the United States with a magazine, before fucking him while watching Shark Week.

Does Anyone Know How These Russians Got Into Michael Cohen’s Porn Star Slush Fund? If So, Let Him Know, Because He Has No Idea.

Good luck explaining this.

It’s Official: Trump Exits Iran Nuclear Deal, Accuses Tehran Of ‘Nuclear Blackmail’

TRUMP SAYS U.S. WILL EXIT THE IRAN NUCLEAR DEAL

Trump Will Withdraw From Iran Deal, Let Sanctions Go Ahead, Crude Whipsawed

Draw your own conclusions.

Here’s What’s At Stake In Trump’s Tuesday Announcement On The Iran Nuclear Deal

“The ratings will be tremendous.”

Rudy Giuliani, Philosopher, Poses Kantian Question ‘What Is Truth?’

“If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell. And if you’re too stupid to do any of those things, send in Rudy Giuliani.” –Carl Sandburg, more or less