“Why are we here? What are we about? What is it that we are defending? . . . I won’t sacrifice that for anyone.”

“If Mr. Trump continues this self-destructive behavior, he will drown out his message and maybe even blast his presidency to bits before his first year in office is even out.”

“I want to extend my sincere apologies”…

“Hello, little girls! It’s me, President Donald Trump”…

“It’s hard to know where to begin with President Donald Trump’s tweeted ban on transgender people serving in the U.S. military, which manages to offend on both moral and practical grounds, in both style and substance.”

“Ernest Hemingway advised authors to write one true sentence. Among the truest words describing the Trump presidency were written by Professor Laurence Tribe of the Harvard Law School, in an op-ed in The Washington Post discussing impeachment and obstruction of justice. He wrote that ‘in Nixon’s case, the list of actions that together were deemed to constitute impeachable obstruction reads like a forecast of what Trump would do decades later.'”

“On both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue, we are witnessing a collapse of the norms of governing, constant violations of our legitimate expectations of political leaders, and the mutation of the normal conflicts of democracy into a form of warfare that demands the opposition’s unconditional surrender.”

Oops.

” The dangers and challenges of moving forward with an impeachment effort are often obvious, but members of Congress should think carefully as well about the risks involved in refusing to pursue an impeachment when one might be warranted.”

Consider yourself “advised,” LGBT community, Trump “cannot be burdened” with the “tremendous” aggravations of allowing you to fight and die for him.

“Kislyak must be one forgettable fellow.”

“Failing Girl Scouts bad (or sick) guys.”

“Hello, you have reached the United States of America. We’re sorry no one is here to take your call right now.”