‘They Were Keeping The Jews From Leaving’: Tone Deaf Jeff Sessions Explains The Difference Between U.S. Border Policy And Nazi Germany

Tone. Deaf.

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Trump Literally Wanders Out Onto White House Lawn To Talk To Fox & Friends, ‘Covfefe’ Ensues

“When Kim speaks, his people stand up at attention, I want my people to do the same.”

Donald Trump Will Always Be An ‘Alpha Dog’ To Morgan Ortagus, No Matter How Many Porn Stars Spank Him

Oh, dear lord.

Village Idiot And One-Third Of Michael Cohen’s Client List, Sean Hannity, Says Maybe It’s Time To Start Destroying Evidence

He’s joking. Unless you want to destroy some evidence. In which case, by all means.

If You Could Just Pull Yourself Up By Your $22 Million Government-Backed Bootstraps, You Too Could Be Sean Hannity!

“The Hannity Hypocrisy Hour has been on teevee for eleventy years, and we’ve all developed antibodies by now.”

It Is Now Extremely Funny To Go Back And Watch Sean Hannity ‘Interview’ Michael Cohen

“Maybe, just maybe”…

In Bombshell Report, Fox’s Tucker Carlson ‘Exposes’ Pandas As ‘Sex-Crazed’ Murderous Perverts

“You know the official story about pandas — they’re cute, they’re adorably helpless, which is why they’re almost extinct. But like a lot of what we hear, that’s a lie.”

‘Wait, That’s Not What I’m Looking For, Take That Down’: Fox Accidentally Admits No One Trusts Them

Oh, well! Nothing a half hour’s worth of denigrating minorities won’t fix.

Fox News Is Worried White Nationalists Will Become Extinct Before Black Rhinos (Really)

“The black rhinos got an advantage because he’s black.”

The Deep State Tried To Murder Sean Hannity’s Twitter Account Because Sean Was Getting Too Close To The Truth.

“OOH IT IS A MYSTERY! Did Sean Hannity see Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama making treason in the broom closet?”

Sean Hannity’s Reaction To The NYT Mueller Story Is The Best Thing On The Internet This Week

“Rapidly aging squirrel taint Sean Hannity did not like the scoop Thursday night about President Shithole trying to fire special counsel Robert Mueller in a fit of bloated, know-nothing rage.”

Is Fox News Just Trying To Get People Killed Now?

“Is there anything more to this “secret society” conspiracy theory than the asinine ramblings of an old GOP senator from Wisconsin? Why yes!”

Did Fox News Just Officially Rule Out Janet Yellen?

I LIKE’ YELLEN BUT `YOU HAVE TO MAKE’ OWN MARK

John Garofalo Is An American Hero And ‘Thank God’ Fox News Had ‘The Balls’ To Tell His Story

When reached for comment, Garofalo “admitted he had lied and never served in Vietnam, never received a Purple Heart and was never a SEAL.” 

Dear Fox News: You Are America’s Only Hope…

“The only authoritative voice in Trump’s divided America is the voice that helped drive us apart in the first place.”