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Trump Literally Wanders Out Onto White House Lawn To Talk To Fox & Friends, ‘Covfefe’ Ensues

"When Kim speaks, his people stand up at attention, I want my people to do the same."

Ok, so as usual (and I say this all the damn time), what unfolded on the White House lawn this morning was so absurd that it’s difficult to lampoon it.

For those of us who enjoy penning political satire, it’s nice when the jokes “just write themselves” (so to speak), but Trump has a penchant for doing and saying things that are so patently ridiculous that they are the jokes.

That is, it’s exceedingly difficult to add anything in terms of comedic value because he unwittingly transcends the abilities of even the best satirists just by being himself.

Friday morning was a case in point. At 7:50 this morning, just as he was preparing to officially unveil tariffs on $50 billion in Chinese goods, Trump tweeted this:

Again, where do you even start when it comes to writing the jokes there? First of all, he plugged Fox’s ratings in a tweet and then plugged them again in the same sentence by childishly putting “by far” in parenthesis. He also capitalized “front” and “lawn”, neither of which should be capitalized. Then he said he was going to go out for an impromptu interview which is laughable for at least two reasons: i) it probably wasn’t impromptu – it was almost surely staged, and ii) even if it would have been impromptu, it wasn’t as soon as he told 54 million people he was going to do it.

Well, sure enough, Trump literally wandered out into the “Front” yard and delivered an series of characteristically absurd soundbites to a gleeful Steve Doocy.

Let’s just run through a couple of these clips.

First of all, he literally said that he wants “his people” to show the same type of deference to him that North Koreans show to Kim Jong-Un. And I am not exaggerating that. Here, look:

Here he is explaining why he saluted a North Korean general (the reference is to a clip that showed up in a 42-minute North Korean propaganda video posted on Thursday, a video that was clearly designed to make North Koreans believe the Singapore Summit was a diplomatic coup for Kim, which wouldn’t be entirely inaccurate).

Do note that the North Korean general in question was visibly confused as to why a sitting U.S. President would salute him:


On top of that, Kim himself looked bemused. Seriously. Look at the freeze frame:

Trump also reiterated that he’s going to “get involved” with the DoJ:

Then he said James Comey should be imprisoned:

He also mischaracterized the IG report:

He underscored the notion that he doesn’t understand the first fucking thing about geopolitics (while simultaneously affirming his stance on Russia and the G-7):

And then there was this hilarious moment where he doubled down on a claim that literally cannot be true (more on the the parents of the POWs story here):

Of course the problem with charging out onto the White House lawn is that he got peppered with questions from real reporters too, and that didn’t go so well.

We’ll leave you with a sampling of questions from reporters who aren’t predisposed to accepting the kind of dictatorial insanity you heard in the clips shown above.


9 comments on “Trump Literally Wanders Out Onto White House Lawn To Talk To Fox & Friends, ‘Covfefe’ Ensues


    TRUMP on Kim Jong Un (note the final two sentences): “He’s the head of a country, and I mean he’s the strong head. Don’t let anyone think anything different. He speaks and his people sit up at attention. I want my people to do the same.”

    I don’t know about YOU, but I’ve had it with this guy. Enough of Donald Trump thinking I’m one of his cattle.


    TRUMP on Kim Jong Un (note the final two sentences): “He’s the head of a country, and I mean he’s the strong head. Don’t let anyone think anything different. He speaks and his people sit up at attention. I want my people to do the same.”
    Next time a Trump supporter starts talking his Trumpshit to me, I’m gonna tell him “Hey, Trump wants you to stand at attention when he speaks. Wake up, Punchy.”

  3. monkfelonious

    Maybe one day he will ‘walk out to the Front Lawn’ with a loaded gold plated and engraved M-1911 (presented with much fanfare by LaPierre in front of adoring toads), and while bragging about what a good shot he is, point it toward his temple……..The amazing result would be that his constituency would praise him for that, in fact, he was a good shot. “Well yeah, but one thing you have to say about Presnit Trump is he WAS one hell of a shot!”

    I’m seventy years old and have been around the block a few times; when I started out on this walkabout, I never would have guessed that I would eventually arrive at so low an opinion of my fellow Americans.

    This really can’t go on much longer. We have blasted THROUGH the twilight zone and have entered another dimension.

  4. I’m not sure why all the Trump hating. Where were the haters when George Jesus Christ Bush, his fat brother Jeb and the Master of Rectal Feeding Carl Rove staged a coup and plunged the country into 8 Years of the Bush Dark Ages. Then we have Talking Out of Three Sides of his mouth at the same time Barak Obama who completed the police state that Bush and the Patriot Act Supporters dreamed off. And then there is the Big Swinging-Dickless and Above the Law Hillary Clinton. Where were the haters then? In the usual comatose state mesmerized by Mass Media Monotony? Meanwhile the US Congress is shoving corporate bribes into their pockets four days of the week, using legislation as a tool of extortion, f$cking lobbyist provided sex workers, funding illegal invasions and plundering the Social Security Trust….all with sovereign immunity of course. And Trump is the problem? What a laugh.

    • well, it’s good that you’re laughing, because i can tell you definitively that in the eyes of trained political scientists, this is a fucking train wreck. and the rest of the developed world (and much of the emerging world) agrees. the Roseanne crowd is still be enamored with Trump, and indeed that’s the saddest part about this whole thing. those poor people actually believe that a man who has spent his entire life rubbing his inherited wealth in other people’s faces gives a shit about everyday Americans. he wouldn’t piss on Joe the plumber if Joe was on fire. but he would watch a Russian hooker piss on a bed.

  5. The Real Ricardo

    Dear Real or Unreal As The Case May Be: As an official member of the Slave Population whose memory has not been completely erased by the Digital Distractions-Hollywood Entertainment-Mass Media Brainwashing & Dis-information Complex….with $60Trillion in debt and contingent liabilities, three lost wars in a row (Four if you count the DEA’s War on Consciousness), a foreign policy that a medium sized bowel movement of Henry Kissinger could have managed better, the total annihilation of the middle class, the education system and personal security and privacy at every level….I’d argue we were a train wreck long before Trump started losing his hair.

    • it’s like I’ve told countless readers who have e-mailed me over the course of this site’s short history:

      i’m not inherently “anti-Trump”. I’m anti-morons-being-President.

      based on your comments, Ricardo, you seem to have a good grasp on the fact that Trump is probably a moron.

      you also seem to agree that moronic policies are bad.

      therefore, I’m sure you can understand where we’re all coming from here when we say that this moron is a moron.

      “other government officials were bad” doesn’t ameliorate “this president is a moron” anymore than “someone robbed a bank five years ago” ameliorates the situation if someone steals a TV from my house today.

      • Good points….I totally agree….so taking Ralph Nader’s description of the RNC and DNC to heart…”One snake – two heads” and given that 35% of the US is in a state of suspended disbelief and another 35% can’t differentiate between a dog food commercial and an honest political candidate…..what’s one to do? Is there no answer other then to talk to ourselves and tell ourselves what we already know? Is it inconceivable to arrest the entire United States Government and their lapdogs or whoever it is that’s masquerading as the government. Is it impossible to envision the broadcast licenses of ABCCBSNBCCNNFOCPBS revoked and have the public airwaves given back to the public? Is honest governance just no longer possible or too much of an inconvenience for the criminal elite? You’re a much smarter guy then me….is there nothing actionable to do beyond, at least in your case, entertainingly, rehashing the obvious?

  6. Here’s my two cents — as long as there has been and will continue to be (pray!) human beings in our country, there will be difference of opinions, different personalities, different social classes. Prior to the illegal election of this particular moron people have usually and mostly commented respectively, offering their opinions firmly and loudly and perhaps angrily BUT they did not sink to the bottom-feeding level that this moron openly offered even during his campaign days. He unleashed the uncontrolled, delusional, demented, and completely ignorant clusters of depraved persons who are not qualified to live among socially acceptable people.

    The majority of America does not accept living in this cesspool he has unleashed. One way or another, his reign will end and the moral filth and immorality will end with him. Then those of you who adore him and worship his insanity and his ignorance can crawl back under your rocks, forevermore.

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