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Category: Trump

Midnight Trump Is Worried That An Illegally Established ‘Special Council’ Is Out To Get Him

April 21, 2018April 21, 2018

“Really, does everyone know what this means?”

No.

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10 Comments on Midnight Trump Is Worried That An Illegally Established ‘Special Council’ Is Out To Get Him

Rudy Giuliani And Trump: Let’s Explore!

April 20, 2018

“Mueller is currently grinding the heel of his wingtip into Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen’s balls, not because he’s trying to flip them, but because he’s just a couple of weeks away from wrapping this whole thing up. Sounds legit!”

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2 Comments on Rudy Giuliani And Trump: Let’s Explore!

Democratic Party Sues Russia, Trump Campaign, WikiLeaks Alleging Massive Conspiracy

April 20, 2018April 20, 2018

“A brazen attack on American democracy.”

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1 Comment on Democratic Party Sues Russia, Trump Campaign, WikiLeaks Alleging Massive Conspiracy

Trump Accuses OPEC Of Being ‘At It Again’, Says He Won’t ‘Accept’ Higher Oil Prices

April 20, 2018April 20, 2018

What. The. Actual. Fuck?

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oil, OPEC4 Comments on Trump Accuses OPEC Of Being ‘At It Again’, Says He Won’t ‘Accept’ Higher Oil Prices

China Incredulous At Trump’s Tech Threat: ‘He’s Acting Like A Bully, Is America Really That Fragile?’

April 20, 2018

“U.S. is asking China to open its markets but creates obstacles for China, contravening principles of equality, fairness and reciprocity.”

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9 Comments on China Incredulous At Trump’s Tech Threat: ‘He’s Acting Like A Bully, Is America Really That Fragile?’

Rosenstein To Trump: You’re Not A Target Of Any Part Of Mueller Investigation

April 19, 2018April 19, 2018

So, as Trump would say, “we’ll see what happens.”

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2 Comments on Rosenstein To Trump: You’re Not A Target Of Any Part Of Mueller Investigation

Here’s What Happens Next In The Trump-China Trade War, According To Goldman

April 19, 2018April 19, 2018

It’s more likely than not that Trump takes it up another notch, so be prepared.

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1 Comment on Here’s What Happens Next In The Trump-China Trade War, According To Goldman

Trump Wakes Up, Says Porn Stars Are Making Up Tom Bradys, Says He’s Excited To Meet Kim Jong-Un

April 18, 2018April 18, 2018

The President wishes you a happy Wednesday.

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Leave a Comment on Trump Wakes Up, Says Porn Stars Are Making Up Tom Bradys, Says He’s Excited To Meet Kim Jong-Un

Trump Wakes Up, Screams At Russia, China For ‘Playing Unacceptable Devaluation Games!’

April 16, 2018

“Not acceptable!”

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3 Comments on Trump Wakes Up, Screams At Russia, China For ‘Playing Unacceptable Devaluation Games!’

‘Slippery James’ And ‘Wild Bill’: How Insane Was Trump’s Sunday Twitter Rant?

April 15, 2018April 15, 2018

What would this sound like if we quoted him like a normal person? I don’t know, let’s try it!

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14 Comments on ‘Slippery James’ And ‘Wild Bill’: How Insane Was Trump’s Sunday Twitter Rant?

Is Michael Cohen The Dumbest Lawyer In America? Maybe, Probably, Yes!

April 14, 2018April 14, 2018

“There are 1.3 million lawyers in America, but Michael Cohen may be the stupidest one of all.”

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5 Comments on Is Michael Cohen The Dumbest Lawyer In America? Maybe, Probably, Yes!

Trump Says ‘Slime Ball’ Comey ‘Should Be Prosecuted’ For His ‘Leakin’, Lyin” Ways

April 13, 2018April 13, 2018

It’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.

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3 Comments on Trump Says ‘Slime Ball’ Comey ‘Should Be Prosecuted’ For His ‘Leakin’, Lyin” Ways

Trump: I’ll Fire Mueller If I Want To, I’ll Fire Missiles When I Want To, Now ‘Where Is Our Thank You’?

April 12, 2018April 12, 2018

“Where is our thank you”?

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3 Comments on Trump: I’ll Fire Mueller If I Want To, I’ll Fire Missiles When I Want To, Now ‘Where Is Our Thank You’?

A Fired Up Trump Tells Russia To ‘Get Ready’ For ‘Nice, New’ Missiles Aimed At ‘Gas Killing Animal’ Assad

April 11, 2018April 11, 2018

Boy, someone has had their covfefe this morning.

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9 Comments on A Fired Up Trump Tells Russia To ‘Get Ready’ For ‘Nice, New’ Missiles Aimed At ‘Gas Killing Animal’ Assad

Trump Considering Firing Rosenstein, Sessions; Tried To Fire Mueller Again In December

April 10, 2018April 10, 2018

“Mr. Trump’s quick conclusion that the erroneous news reports warranted firing Mr. Mueller is also an insight Mr. Trump’s state of mind about the special counsel.”

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1 Comment on Trump Considering Firing Rosenstein, Sessions; Tried To Fire Mueller Again In December

‘The Passion Of The Donald’: Trump’s FBI Conspiracy Theory In His Own Words

April 10, 2018

“Don’t be surprised if Trump decides to vent some of his anger by choosing the most destructive option against Syria. And possibly a cruise missile strike on the Special Counsel’s office.”

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1 Comment on ‘The Passion Of The Donald’: Trump’s FBI Conspiracy Theory In His Own Words

Rod Rosenstein Personally Signed Off On FBI Raid Of Trump Lawyer Cohen

April 10, 2018April 10, 2018

“Mr. Trump’s advisers have spent the last 24 hours trying to convince the president not to make an impulsive decision that could put the president in more legal jeopardy.”

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2 Comments on Rod Rosenstein Personally Signed Off On FBI Raid Of Trump Lawyer Cohen

Trump Calls FBI Raid On Lawyer ‘Disgraceful’, Cohen Being Investigated For Bank Fraud, Campaign Violations

April 9, 2018April 9, 2018

Quick! Someone get this man a lawyer before he incriminates himself any further! 

Oh… wait….

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4 Comments on Trump Calls FBI Raid On Lawyer ‘Disgraceful’, Cohen Being Investigated For Bank Fraud, Campaign Violations

Michael Cohen Thought His Life Already Sucked Pretty Bad And Then The F.B.I. Raided His Office On Monday

April 9, 2018April 9, 2018

Wow, how hilarious is this, right?

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5 Comments on Michael Cohen Thought His Life Already Sucked Pretty Bad And Then The F.B.I. Raided His Office On Monday

It’s Not Like Trump Lobbied Against Sprinkler Systems In Tall Buildings And/Or Called The Deceased A ‘Crazy Jew’, Ok?

April 9, 2018April 9, 2018

“Apparently he already had a go-round with him about something.”

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Leave a Comment on It’s Not Like Trump Lobbied Against Sprinkler Systems In Tall Buildings And/Or Called The Deceased A ‘Crazy Jew’, Ok?

Goldman Asks Trump: Is It Really ‘Easy’ To ‘Win’ A Trade War?

April 9, 2018April 9, 2018

“But how easy is it really?”

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Trump Threatens ‘Animal Assad’, Russia, Iran After Latest Chemical Attack On Civilians In Syria

April 8, 2018April 8, 2018

“Red lines”.

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3 Comments on Trump Threatens ‘Animal Assad’, Russia, Iran After Latest Chemical Attack On Civilians In Syria

Trump Wakes Up, Says Washington Post Is ‘Made Up Garbage’, Swears John Kelly Stories Are False

April 8, 2018April 8, 2018

And remember, when Trump starts tweeting about Amazon again, it has nothing to do with the Washington Post, ok?

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Leave a Comment on Trump Wakes Up, Says Washington Post Is ‘Made Up Garbage’, Swears John Kelly Stories Are False

2 Scoops Of Mnuchin: ‘There’s The Potential For A Trade War’, Trump ‘In Talks’ With Postal Service on Amazon

April 6, 2018

“I’m cautiously optimistic that we will be able to work this out. But”…

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4 Comments on 2 Scoops Of Mnuchin: ‘There’s The Potential For A Trade War’, Trump ‘In Talks’ With Postal Service on Amazon

This Is What It Looks Like When A Man With Dementia Talks About ‘Taxes’ In West Virginia

April 6, 2018

“They’re cut up!”

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Leave a Comment on This Is What It Looks Like When A Man With Dementia Talks About ‘Taxes’ In West Virginia

Going Nuclear? Goldman Warns China May Soon Be Forced To Depreciate Currency, Sell Treasurys

April 6, 2018April 6, 2018

“…there are simply not enough US exports to retaliate against.”

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15 Comments on Going Nuclear? Goldman Warns China May Soon Be Forced To Depreciate Currency, Sell Treasurys

As Trump Lashes Out At ‘Unfair’ WTO, Here’s What One Expert Says

April 6, 2018April 6, 2018

He’s right and wrong. But mostly wrong.

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Leave a Comment on As Trump Lashes Out At ‘Unfair’ WTO, Here’s What One Expert Says

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