Gundlach Has Total Meltdown, Says Rivals Have Bribed Reporters, Calls Himself ‘Seinfeld’

It was exactly one week ago when we brought you the latest from the front lines of Jeff Gundlach’s ongoing war with all things “fake.”

See according to Jeff, there is a conspiracy afoot. And that conspiracy amounts to a global (or at least nationwide), coordinated effort to spread “fake” Gundlach news.

For “The Bond King”, this conspiracy is part and parcel of a broader trend which is driving the DoubleLine chief to the edge of insanity.

As he makes clear in the bio of his (now verified) Twitter account, Jeff is “truth fan.” And to prove it, he made his Twitter handle @TruthGundlach.

But this isn’t a world that’s as committed to “truth” as Jeff would like it to be. In fact, this is a world filled with people Jeff imagines are liars, cheats, swindlers, and just plain old shitheads. And they are all – every, last goddamn one of them – out to get Gundlach.

Well in early May, Jeff had had enough. And so he dove headfirst into the birthplace of all things fake: Twitter.

He quickly discovered that the situation was immeasurably worse than even he could have imagined.

The Twitterverse, he learned, is inhabited by a veritable orgy of bad actors including, but certainly not limited to, rival bond fund managers who Jeff believes are engaged in a vast conspiracy to undermine him by creating fake Gundlach Twitter handles and unscrupulous trolls like @Jimmyjude13 who, despite Jeff’s protestations, think the only think to do in Buffalo is “jerk off.”

You can read more about Jeff’s crusade against “fake” Gundlach news here, but suffice to say the swamp hasn’t been drained yet, although he’s working on it.

Ok, so last Saturday we brought you the latest from Gundlach’s quest to rid the world of fake-ness. According to court documents, he was likely bamboozled by a California wine merchant who he claims sold him “at least” 67 bottles of fake Bordeaux.

Needless to say, Jeff was distraught.

“Soutirage is nothing but a crass huckster!,” he exclaims in one of the complaints.

jeff

Well fast forward one week and we find Jeff in the midst of a multi-day Twitter meltdown.

Apparently, someone has dug up some dirt on DoubleLine and as you can imagine, Gundlach is fucking furious. 

Just read this (it starts from the latest and goes backwards, so you’ll have to scroll down and work your way back up to the latest tweets):

Jeff3

Jeff2

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So let’s just break that down, because Jeff is clearly trying to get out ahead of something although we don’t know quite what it is yet.

Here’s what we’ve learned:

  • “shaky” rivals are playing “tricks” on reporters in an effort to spread “fake” DoubleLine news
  • Jeff has confirmation of said “fake” news which involves the contention that DoubleLine’s AUM is falling
  • Jeff thinks of himself as something akin to Jerry Seinfeld
  • Jeff would never scream at employees
  • Jeff thinks he knows who the conspirators are and he’s dug up his own dirt on them
  • Jeff is going to sue everyone involved with his “big legal team”
  • Jeff offered to give an interview to the news outlet which he says has fallen for a “ruse”
  • Jeff wants to “welcome” you to “wack-o-season” (aside: “wack” is spelled wrong there)
  • reporters have been “bribed” by rivals
  • Jeff is “buried” in resumes
  • Jeff is going to make it clear what exactly it is he’s talking about soon enough

So basically, Jeff has just written the entire story for whoever this mystery reporter is and put it out in advance on Twitter.

Of course that bit of nuance hasn’t occurred to Gundlach because he’s so blinded by rage that he hasn’t been able to keep himself off social media.

What’s abundantly clear is that someone, somewhere, is about to publish something about DoubleLine.

And if this is how mad he is now, one can only imagine what @TruthGundlach is going to do when this actually hits the wires.

Stay tuned.

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3 thoughts on “Gundlach Has Total Meltdown, Says Rivals Have Bribed Reporters, Calls Himself ‘Seinfeld’

  1. Poor Jeff..that’s what you get for drinking a product that almost no one really knows anything about and is pedaled by pretentious shits…I drink Stoli and Tito’s and can get hammered pleasantly at a very reasonable price.

    Like

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