Jeff Gundlach Devastated After Discovering ‘Crass Hucksters’ Sold Him $1 Million In Fake Wine
Stick to investing, because when it comes to tasting vintage reds, it is you sir, who are the “fake.”
Third Person Trump Says ‘Russia Was Against Trump,’ Says ‘Dems’ Control Country
In what has become an American tradition, Donald Trump is kicking off the weekend with some inspirational tweets that are aimed at uniting a divided nation around a set of noble principles and a shared vision of hope.
Just kidding.
‘Vol. Sellers Should Walk To The Exit’: One Rates Team Is Worried About August
“In fact, August has been the worst performing month for systematic vol sellers since 2010.”
More ‘Loonie’ Tunes: Specs Added To CAD Long Ahead Of Best GDP Print Since The Millennium
So for the third week in a row we get to say “congratulations Canada!”
Now just hope that epic housing bubble doesn’t burst.
Priebus The ‘Paranoid Schizophrenic’ Resigns, Trump Is ‘Proud Of Him’ Anyway
So another one bites the proverbial dust, but like Sean Spicer before him, Priebus can take comfort in the fact that Trump is “proud of him.”
Presenting: A Crazy Week In Charts
Ok, well this was an interesting week…
A F**ked Up Friday: Your European Stocks Just Had A Bad Day
Well, European equities closed the week on a decidedly sour note.
Sally Yates: ‘This Is Dangerous. Period.’
“President Trump’s actions appear aimed at destroying the fundamental independence of the Justice Department. All the while, he’s ripping the blindfold off Lady Justice and attempting to turn the department into a sword to seek vengeance against his perceived enemies and a shield to protect himself and his allies.”
Friday Satire: Trump Sends Letter To Americans
My fellow Americans…
Oil Has Best Week In 7 Months As HY Energy Issuance Flatlines. Beeeeeeeep…
I need to know (immediately, if possible), if you are excited about crude. Because some
As North Korea Fires Missile, The Only Question Worth Asking Is…
“…it appears that someone’s used to opportunity to JBTD.”
What Trump Can Learn From JFK On Nuclear War
“For, in the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children’s future. And we are all mortal.â€
Searching For Gandalf: Traders Weigh In On Thursday’s ‘Kolanovic Moment’
“Is this really sensible?!”…
Meanwhile, In Canada: GDP Grows The Most Since The Turn Of The Millennium
Y/Y, Canada’s economy grew by 4.6% in the 12 months through the end of May. That’s the highest growth rate since the millennium!
U.S. GDP, ECI Both Miss; Yields, Dollar Plunge
U.S. ECONOMY EXPANDED AT 2.6% PACE IN 2Q; EST. 2.7%
U.S. Second Quarter Employment Cost Index Rose 0.5%; Est 0.6%
‘Monster Strong’ Numbers Trigger Surge In Krona, Riksbank Now In A Bind
“Very punchy, blowing away economists’ estimates”…
‘It’s A Sitting Duck’: Swiss Franc Plunge Continues, Bund Yields Soar, On Hot German Data
“All this makes the CHF a bit of a sitting duck”…
We’re Going To Have To ‘Think About The Unthinkable’ To Save Mueller
“Why are we here? What are we about? What is it that we are defending? . . . I won’t sacrifice that for anyone.â€
Key Calls (Friday): Upgrades, Downgrades & Initiations
You need an upgrade.
EURCHF Surges As Stops ‘Inadvertently’ Triggered In Tokyo Amid ‘Very Poor Liquidity’
“…the move above overnight high was due to a combination of short covering and momentum buying and is being made more difficult as spreads blow out in both options and spot.”
‘It Can’t Be Helped’: Japanese Inflation Refuses To Rise Despite Bajillions In Money Printing
“The BOJ has done what it can with monetary policy. It can’t be helped.”
As Currency War Beckons, Here Is One Trader’s Dollar Mea Culpa
“It’s certainly a tempting idea given the price-action but, in the wake of my incorrect dollar call from Wednesday, I refrained from joining the debate with conviction.”
Karl Rove: Trump Will ‘Blast Presidency To Bits Before The Year Is Even Out’
“If Mr. Trump continues this self-destructive behavior, he will drown out his message and maybe even blast his presidency to bits before his first year in office is even out.”
Scaramucci: Bannon Is A ‘Cocksucker,’ Preibus Is A ‘Fucking Paranoid Schizophrenic’
“I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own cock,†he said, speaking of Trump’s chief strategist. “I’m not trying to build my own brand off the fucking strength of the President. I’m here to serve the country.â€Â
‘I Come Back To You Now’: Kolanovic Returns, Everyone Panics
“…at the turn of the tide.”
Boy Scouts ‘Sincerely’ Sorry For Trump’s Behavior At Jamboree
“I want to extend my sincere apologies”…
Thursday Satire: Trump’s Advice To Girl Scouts
“Hello, little girls! It’s me, President Donald Trump”…
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