“We’re Still Not As Dumb As Americans!” Sunday Night Satire
“We are smarter than the Americans, true, but they have set the bar very low, no?â€
Macron Elected President Of France In Landslide
Like father, like daughter. Crushed.
DB Explains Why Le Pen’s Performance Was “Less Impressive Than The Numbers Suggest”
“The National Front rise is less impressive than these figures suggest.”
Wall Street Weighs In On Macron Win
“And since we believe a Macron presidency has been embedded in market pricing since then, we do not expect his victory in today’s run-off to have a significant impact on markets from tomorrow.”
European Leaders Cheer Macron’s Victory Over Le Pen
The relief is palpable…
Banksy Does Brexit
The one and only…
Barclays Tells You What To Expect If Macron Wins
Assuming Macron does indeed carry the day, here are the two possible scenarios and what to expect, according to Barclays…
Gulf Stocks Tumble, Kuwait Plunges As Oil Bull Thesis “Obliterated”
“Do you see what happens Larry?!”
“10 Charts That Tell It All” For Retail
The only annoying words we’ve included are those necessary to explain the pretty pictures. You’re welcome.
Fair-Weather Friends In Junk
In other words, they’re around when you don’t need them and not so much when you do…
Sunday Chart Check: “Diversification”
“The market value of iShares 20+ Year Treasury Bond vs. Vanguard Total Stock Market ETF hit a 3-year low in March 2017.”
#MACRONLEAKS Tied To RT-, Sputnik-Linked Twitter Accounts, Alt-Right “Jack”Ass
“DFRLab tracked the onset of the campaign to the Twitter account of Jack Posobiec. They also include @Languillem, which in March was the most active amplifier of Kremlin outlets RT and Sputnik in French, as the DFRLab has reported.”
Only A “Black Swan” Can Stop Me Now!
“So what would it take to upset this perfect equilibrium? Something the market is not expecting, something completely out of left field, an unknown unknown”…
A “Useful Maxim” Before “It All Goes Horribly Wrong”
Hedging is so last … ummm… decade?
2 Charts Show How Confident The Market Is In Sunday’s “Sure Thing”
There are a number of different visuals you can look at to see how confident this market truly is, but one of the most straightforward ways to assess the situation is simply to look at…
“Even Crack Dealers Wouldn’t Be Ok With This” – 4X ETFs And The Idiot Tax
“That’s fine, but if it really is the pros doing the trading in this, why not make them futures (with the requisite risk disclosures?) Why give grannies and dentists the chance to dabble with compounding risks that they almost certainly don’t understand?”
Deutsche Bank Explains How You Can Get Off Citi’s “Sketchy” People List
“While the correlation between the level of equities and data surprises in short periods can be strong as it has been recently, the longer the sample the weaker it is as the trend in equities dominates.”
The FCC Is Mad At Stephen Colbert For Calling Trump’s Mouth A “Putin Cock Holster”
“You talk like a sign language gorilla who got hit in the head.”
A Glaring Disconnect Or, The Most Important Thing You’ll Read All Day
“There are a couple of ways in which these disconnects can be resolved. But until they are, global central banks need to tread warily. One resolution is of course equities retreat and yields decline, recognizing the dearth of liquidity. “
Listen Up! Goldman Has Some Bad News For Markets About Trump’s Healthcare “Win”
“In isolation this legislative victory is likely to be interpreted as bullish for other aspects of the agenda, including tax reform.”
Saturday Humor: Nassim Taleb Explains Why He Has A Beer Belly
“Thin waistline is obtained artificially via machines.”
The World Is Going Batshit Crazy – Thoughts Ahead Of A Big Weekend
“While it’s impossible to say which manifestation of populism anno 2017 will be the catalyst for events that will ultimately mark a dubious chapter in the history books, you can be certain that if the world keeps going down this road, something will eventually go terribly, terribly wrong.”
Macron Victim Of “Massive Hacking Attack”: Reports
“Some nine gigabytes of data were posted by a user called EMLEAKS to Pastebin”…
It’s Friday And The “Muppets” Are Asking Goldman About The Nasdaq
“Quoth muppets, quoth Goldman”…
Trump Fires Angella Reid, Who Made The Mistake Of Being Both Black And A Woman
“We are very grateful for her service and wish her the very best”…
This Chart Definitely Doesn’t Show The ECB Rescuing France
“That’s just not how it works.”
One Trader Talks Commodities Carnage, A Witching Hour Reversal, And More
“Stopping after slicing through, but very near, significant lows from last May, September and November. What is one trader’s, “this thing is never going to go up again, so sell any bounce†is another’s, “wow, did you see that quadruple bottom?†The fact that the rally happened almost simultaneously with the Salem, Massachusetts witching hour will certainly get the attention of market forecasters who use methods other than strictly orthodox technical analysis.”
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