Bill Gross Says ‘Bonds, Like Men, Are In A Bear Market’, Endorses Oprah, Says He’ll Put The Toilet Seat Down If He Needs To

“I could go on and on. I won’t. I don’t dare. Actually most of the world’s problems would go away if men just stayed home, watched football and learned to talk to their partners during commercial breaks.”

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‘Just Stop It’: Frantic Search For New Narrative Ensues As 2018 Trading Kicks Off

I’m not entirely sure what everyone expected. If 2018 were a person, it would probably be thinking something along the lines of this: “well shit, give me at least 48 hours to get my feet wet before you start accusing me of being a cheap knock-off of my predecessor.” 

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