Donald Trump spent New Year’s Eve day bombarding America with tweets, and in keeping with recent precedent, most of them were beyond parody.
Trump long ago crossed the threshold beyond which satire is rendered null and void. It isn’t possible to lampoon him in terms that are additive from a comedic value perspective.
For instance, while tweeting about Syria on Monday, he called himself a national hero while speaking in the third person. To wit:
If anybody but Donald Trump did what I did in Syria, which was an ISIS loaded mess when I became President, they would be a national hero.
That is a miracle of rhetorical buffoonery. You couldn’t script something stupider if you tried.
He went on to implicitly call Jim Mattis and John Kelly “failed Generals”, before asserting that they were only able to “get the job done” because he (Trump) “arrived”. Everyone knew it was just a matter of time before he lashed out at his former chief of staff and Defense Secretary and you can expect these attacks to get more explicit going forward.
The Monday “wall” tweets were stone, cold nuts. Trump rebuked Kelly’s comments delivered during an interview with the LA Times, insisting that in fact, the idea of a solid concrete wall was “NEVER ABANDONED”, in the process laying waste to whatever good faith he might have engendered with his farcical “steel slat barrier” rebranding effort. He then doubled and tripled down on the xenophobia, calling America’s southern border an “Open Wound” that oozes “drugs, criminals, human traffickers and illegals.”
Then, at 10:37 AM he tweeted this:
I’m in the Oval Office.
The problem with that: he wasn’t in the Oval Office.
the president just tweeted that he was in the oval, but no marine outside the west wing pic.twitter.com/Y5EAx2wOoV
— Justin Sink (@justinsink) December 31, 2018
He also claimed that unidentified “heads of countries” have been calling him on the phone “wanting to know why” Chuck Schumer isn’t “approving their otherwise approved Ambassadors?!” Clearly that isn’t any semblance of true. The phone isn’t ringing off the hook at 1600 Penn. with heads of state asking Trump about Chuck Schumer. Again, we’re beyond parody.
Meanwhile, Trump is now being sued by The American Federation of Government Employees for forcing people to work without pay.
“These employees perform a variety of dangerous roles”, the press release reads. It also underscores the irony inherent in forcing Border Patrol and ICE agents to work without a paycheck in the interest of extorting taxpayers for $5 billion in wall money.
“Our members put their lives on the line to keep our country safe,” J. David Cox Sr., AFGE’s national president said, adding that “requiring them to work without pay is nothing short of inhumane.”
Democrats are going to try to put an end to this insanity on Thursday when they retake the House. The plan is for a vote on two separate bills, one of which will reopen eight departments shuttered since December 22, the other to reopen DHS through February 8.
There will be no wall money.
Of course Trump continues to insist that he needs that money and so, the Senate sees no point in even going through the motions until such a time as he can be convinced that nobody is ever going to give him $5 billion for a wall.
“It’s simple: The Senate is not going to send something to the president that he won’t sign,” Mitch McConnell’s spokesman Don Stewart said Monday.
Finally, just to round out the absurdity, Fox & Friends is all set to air a New Year’s Eve exclusive interview with Trump which will reportedly include the following exchange where he calls Elizabeth Warren crazy:
— Maggie Haberman (@maggieNYT) December 31, 2018
Oh, and here is Trump’s official New Year’s Eve message to America:
HAPPY NEW YEAR! pic.twitter.com/bHoPDPQ7G6
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 31, 2018