Trump Isn’t Considering Jared Kushner For Chief Of Staff, Ok?!

After Sunday, you probably didn’t need any more proof to support the contention that nobody – and I repeat nobody – is interested in stepping into John Kelly’s shoes.

Just a little over 24 hours after Trump told reporters that Kelly would be “retiring” from his role as Head Babysitter, Nick Ayers, the man widely expected to take Kelly’s place, hopped on Twitter to explain that he would not in fact be the President’s new Chief of Staff.

“I will be departing at the end of the year but will work with the #MAGA team to advance the cause”, Ayers said.

Roughly translated: “There are only a few lifeboats left on this sinking ship and by God, I’m grabbing one of them and paddling it all the way back to Georgia.”

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Nick Ayers Pulls A Forrest Gump On Trump, Mnuchin Now In Running To Replace John Kelly

Over the course of the next 72 hours, multiple names were floated as possible replacements for Ayers who lasted all of zero seconds as Kelly’s successor. Among them, Mark Meadows, Mick Mulvaney and, hilariously, Steve Mnuchin.

As it turns out (and I realize this is hard to believe) none of those three men want anything to do with the job.

On Thursday afternoon, a dejected, fatalistic Mnuchin said this when asked about the possibility that he’ll be forced to take over for Kelly:

I’m happy where I am. Whatever the president wants.

Running out of options and facing withering criticism from the national peanut gallery which has spent the last five days relentlessly mocking Trump for not being able to find a single person willing to condemn themselves to the hell that is the Chief of Staff position, Trump is maybe/maybe not turning to Jared Kushner.

“Having run through his first choices for his chief of staff vacancy without any luck, President Trump is considering his own son-in-law for the job”, HuffPo reports on Thursday evening, citing a “top Republican” who also said Kushner has already met with his sorta-dad about the job.

And it gets better. Kushner is actually lobbying on his own behalf. “Kushner has been pushing his own candidacy with Trump, citing his work on a criminal justice reform package and a claimed ability to work with Democrats”, HuffPo continues.

Asked by HuffPo if Kushner’s claims to bipartisan dealmaking prowess have any basis whatsoever in reality, the Republican source said this:

I don’t know why he thinks that.

Me neither.

This is obviously hilarious and also indicative of how the United States is rapidly becoming a farcical autocracy at best and a Third World dictatorship at worst. You might recall that back in July, after consolidating power in a new executive presidency he literally made up, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan installed his son-in-law as economic czar.

Clearly, this is the worst idea imaginable although to be fair, Kushner doesn’t have to worry about being accidentally exposed to a criminal conspiracy by stepping into the role, because after all, he’s already part of the conspiracy.

Less than an hour after the HuffPost story hit, Bloomberg reported that two officials have denied that Kushner is in the running for the position.

You can draw your own conclusions, but we would gently suggest that the conversations HuffPo describes almost surely took place and that, in and of itself, speaks volumes.