Deutsche Bank Understandably Excited To Give You News That Isn’t Totally Bad, But Count Everyone Skeptical
When it comes to Deutsche Bank and their never-ending quest to "turn it around", any good news is welcome even if there are a lot of caveats and fine print.
To be clear, I'm not keen on beating this dead horse, primarily because it's the same story quarter after quarter after quarter. I remember when it was possible to decompose the phrase "turn it around" into specific areas that investors expected Deutsche to focus on in a given quarter, but eventually, the "it" in "turn it around" came to me
‘Good’ news would be confirmation that risk managers are no longer scuttling around London every afternoon with pieces of paper, trying to aggregate VaR from all the different books that still can’t talk to each other.
really GOOD NEWS would be to never see your ‘name’ posted here again. fuck you.