‘Don’t Hesitate To Call Me’: A Dejected Trump Cancels Kim Jong-Un Meeting In Truly Absurd Letter To ‘His Excellency’

Who could have seen this coming?

Failed real estate developer, former mail order steak salesman, disgraced for-profit university con-artist, and current President of the United States, Donald Trump, has been pretty keen on trotting out his celebrated summit with noted murderer, former international outcast and current “honorable” man child, Kim Jong-Un, as a foreign policy achievement for the ages.

How many times have you heard it over the past month? “No other administration has been able to do what we’ve done with North Korea”, Trump has variously said/shrieked/tweeted.

And how many times has someone who knows what they’re talking about warned that the summit either wouldn’t happen or if it did happen, that Trump would end up getting the short end of the stick because, well, because he’s a foreign policy neophyte who harbors an aversion to reading and eschews security briefings for reruns of Fox & Friends.

The answer to both of those “how many times” questions is: many. Many, many times, is how many times we’ve all heard Trump’s boasts and the subsequent warnings from foreign policy experts.

Over the past several days, prospects for the meeting with Kim have dimmed considerably. In fact, just a month after the historic Kim-Moon summit in Panmunjom,  Pyongyang was back to talking about nuclear war.

Specifically, vice-minister of foreign affairs Choe Son Hui was not amused with the continual Gaddafi allusions from the Trump administration and he let his/Kim’s feelings be known on Thursday.

“I cannot suppress my surprise at such ignorant and stupid remarks gushing out from the mouth of the U.S. vice president,” he said in a statement released by KCNA. Here’s the rest of it:

We will neither beg the U.S. for dialogue nor take the trouble to persuade them if they do not want to sit together with us. Whether the U.S. will meet us at a meeting room or encounter us at nuclear-to-nuclear showdown is entirely dependent upon the decision and behavior of the United States.

That, even as Kim moved to dismantle his main nuclear-weapons test site.

Well apparently, that “nuclear-to-nuclear showdown” comment was a bridge too far for failed casino magnate, WWE hall of fame inductee and alleged water sports enthusiast, Donald Trump, who on Thursday morning officially called off the meeting with Kim.


Here, in all its absurd glory, is the text:

His Excellency
Kim Jong Un
Chairman of the State Affairs Commission
of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea

Dear Mr. Chairman:

We greatly appreciation your time, patience, and effort with respect to our recent negotiations and discussions relative to a summit long sought by both parties, which was scheduled to take place on June 12 in Singapore. We were informed that the meeting was requested by North Korea, but that to us is totally irrelevant. I was very much looking forward to being there with you. Sadly, based on the tremendous anger and open hostility displayed in your most recent statement, I feel it is inappropriate, at this time, to have this long-planned meeting. Therefore, please let this letter serve to represent that the Singapore summit, for the good of both parties, but to the detriment of the world, will not take place. You talk about nuclear capabilities, but ours are so massive and powerful that I pray to God they will never have to be used.

I felt a wonderful dialogue was building up between you and me, and ultimately, it is only that dialogue that matters. Some day, I look very much forward to meeting you. In the meantime, I want to thank you for the release of the hostages who are now home with their families. That was a beautiful gesture and was very much appreciated.

If you change your mind having to do with this most important summit, please do not hesitate to call me or write. The world, and North Korea in particular, has lost a great opportunity for lasting peace and great prosperity and wealth. This missed opportunity is a truly sad moment in history.

Sincerely yours,
Donald J. Trump
President of the United States of America

There was no word on what would become of the commemorative coins.



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11 thoughts on “‘Don’t Hesitate To Call Me’: A Dejected Trump Cancels Kim Jong-Un Meeting In Truly Absurd Letter To ‘His Excellency’

  1. What a sad letter. I wonder who wrote it. Definitely not Trump. Certainly not Melania, because she had nothing to copy it. Perhaps Trump called Hillary to write it up? Nah, she’s too busy. Andrew Weissman? Nope. Conflict. Who then? I know. Michael Cohen, Esq., Counselor, Extraordinary!!

  2. “If you change your mind having to do with this most important summit, please do not hesitate to call me”

    Huh, WTF?… That makes no sense! Who cancels on someone and then writes THAT?!!

  3. The simple-mindedness of the letter smells a lot like the toddler-president. Perhaps it was edited by Jared.

  4. America certainly is demonstrating a greater capacity for enduring international embarrassment than I would have predicted a couple of years ago. What the hell is wrong with that place?

  5. Stupid white house gift shop crashed under the load. I know those coins would be worth a heck of a lot more than bitcoin in ten years. Imagine a commemorative coin of our decent into hell.

  6. So many things wrong! I believe he actually did write that letter. Clearly the text of this letter is horrible, awful composition (Some day, I look very much forward to meeting you). That sentence is awkward and just ignorant. Trump trying to sound like a smart man only shows how stupid he is. If he insists on making a comment like that, it should read – I very much look forward to meeting you some day. It is still a stupid sentence but using all his ‘best’ words, my composure is far better. The entire letter is like that! How many commas did he use – even has one placed where a period should be.

    An illiterate man who only pretends to be a wise businessman. He is a joke. The content and the composition, horrible. Printed in hundreds of news columns, worldwide! Simply a great example of poor skills and a weak mind. Genius? lol … not even close.

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