Wednesday Satire: “I’m Covfefe As Fuck, Yo!”

We may have reached a kind of Trumpian singularity early Wednesday morning.

At 12:06 a.m., Trump launched a preemptive tweet strike on today’s headlines.

Just six minutes into the new day, he effectively rendered everything that would come later irrelevant — and he did it accidentally.

Trump literally changed the world by inadvertently tweeting “covfefe” to 31.1 million followers who, if they were asleep and had their Twitter alerts on, were jarred out of REM only to receive a message from the President that made absolutely no sense.

Indeed, the dictionary itself woke up bleary-eyed, asked itself if “covfefe” was a word, immediately regretted it, and went back to sleep:

This went viral so quickly that by lunchtime, you could already buy “Covfefe As Fuck” hats:

Hat

And there are shirts for sale all over the place including this one:

Shirt

Well if you’re familiar with The New Yorker’s satirist Andy Borowitz, you knew he was going to jump on this immediately.

His latest is below…

Via The New Yorker

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump tweeted early Wednesday morning that his practice of sleeping only four hours a day was having no impact whatsoever on his ability to cljjryff.

Trump, who repeatedly touted his high energy level during the 2016 campaign, tweeted that, despite his gruelling Presidential schedule, he still had enormous reserves of stamina, which he called “stamgygygyggy.”

In the same tweetstorm, he lashed out at news reports questioning his fitness for office, denouncing them as “fakequez%(™.”

The White House said that, despite pleas from his legal team to delete his Twitter feed, Trump planned to continue tweeting, and that Education Secretary Betsy DeVos would continue to spell-check his tweets.

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