Right, so Donald Trump is a couple of days into his first overseas trip and so far, he hasn’t done anything completely outrageous.
Sure, he inaugurated the institutional embodiment of the word “oxymoron” (the “Global Center for Combating Extremist Ideology in Riyadh”) by caressing a glowing orb, delivered an ostensibly inspirational speech in which he promised to stand with the Muslim world three months after trying to ban Muslims from entering the United States, and accidentally snitched on himself for leaking classified Israeli intelligence to shady Russians, but all things considered, it’s not going nearly as badly as it could be going.
Still, the New Yorker’s satirist Andy Borowitz imagines that Americans who were previously against Trump’s travel ban might have changed their minds over the past two days. Read his latest below…
RIYADH (The Borowitz Report)–In a notable shift of public opinion, a substantial majority of Americans now favor a travel ban on a person who has recently visited a Muslim country, a new poll shows.
According to the poll, if such a person travelled to a country in the Middle East, for example, he should be subjected to extreme vetting before he is allowed to return to the United States.
If, in the course of such vetting, the person is found to have recently engaged in activities to undermine or even destroy American democracy in collaboration with a foreign enemy, he should be barred forever from entering the U.S., poll respondents agreed.
In sizable numbers, those polled “strongly agreed” with the statement, “Any American who travels to a Muslim country with the intention of selling them deadly weapons should not be allowed to return.”
Finally, a broad majority of poll respondents said that if such a person were to remain outside the borders of the U.S. forever, they would “sleep better at night.”
Oh, you!
I saw this one coming 2 sentences in. How long would Extreme Vetting take? 3-1/2 years? Hmmmm.