Now I know what someone is thinking right now: “there’s nothing funny about this.”
But whoever that someone is is very wrong. Because this is hilarious in the sense that it is a testament to the old adage about “when it rains, it pours.”
Just three weeks after a viral video of David Dao, 69, from Kentucky being dragged off a United Express flight with a bloody face created one of the worst corporate PR disasters in recent memory, 10-month-old “Simon” – a 3ft giant rabbit – died while “traveling” from London to Chicago this week.
As The Sun reports, Simon died in the cargo section of a 767 on his way to “a new celebrity owner in the US.”
“Simon had a vet’s check-up three hours before the flight and was fit as a fiddle,” breeder Annette Edwards said, adding that she’s “sent rabbits all around the world and nothing like this has happened before.”
Had United not murdered Simon, he would have likely “grown to be the world’s biggest rabbit after his father Darius grew to 4ft 4in (1.32 metres),” The Guardian said Wednesday.
“Continental giants are an ancient breed, descended, appropriately enough, from Flemish giants [and] they are known to be gentle, friendly and intelligent, as rabbits go,” The Times noted today, adding that “an enthusiasts’ website says the giant makes ‘a fantastic house rabbit’ but that ‘cables, wires, shoes, papers and anything important’ should be kept out of its way, as it will chew them to bits.”
For their part, United said this:
We were saddened to hear this news. The safety and wellbeing of all the animals that travel with us is of the utmost importance to United Airlines and our PetSafe team.
So far, the shares are holding up ok, but we’ll see what the autopsy shows…
fuckers killed the easter bunny
— Heisenberg Report (@heisenbergrpt) April 26, 2017