Dear America: Why Can’t The Right Seem To Get Its Story Straight?

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the alt-Right can’t seem to make up its mind lately.

Depending on the day (or, more accurately, depending on the hour), the “establishment” that Donald Trump and Steve Bannon are trying so desperately to supplant is characterized as either:

• an American “deep state” the long arm of which not only wields the mighty pen of the “dishonest” media and the sword/gavel of the judiciary, but also pervades every aspect of citizens’ lives via an omnipresent intelligence community that utilizes “microwaves that turn into cameras” and “factory fresh iPhones [equipped with] beacon/loader/implant tools” to spy on everyone from Joe the plumber to Donald Trump himself

or

• an incompetent bunch of corrupt bureaucrats who take their cues from Nassim Taleb’s “pseudo-experts” and barely know what day it is

Now I don’t know about you, but those two characterizations seem mutually exclusive to me.

Either there’s a vast, sophisticated conspiracy orchestrated by a nefarious all-seeing shadow government run out of Langley and/or Barack Obama’s basement, or everyone in government is an idiot and only Trump and the “art of the deal” can save us.

But it sure as sh*t can’t be both, right?

I mean how is it that this mighty, omniscient establishment that’s watching you through your microwave and planting Russian fingerprints on false flag computer hacks is the very same bumbling bunch of dimwits that managed to lose the election to a reality TV show host?

Something doesn’t add up there.

Here’s how Charles Krauthammer put it on Friday:

Donald Trump’s triumph last year was based on a frontal attack on the Washington “establishment,” that all-powerful, all-seeing, supremely cynical, bipartisan “cartel” (as Ted Cruz would have it) that allegedly runs everything. Yet the establishment proved to be Potemkin empty. In 2016, it folded pitifully, surrendering with barely a fight to a lightweight outsider.

So that’s something to ponder as you parse all of the nonsense out there.

Yours truly on a Friday,