Donald Trump Says Michael Cohen Is Lying About Trump Tower, Blames ‘Unrelated’ Chicago Taxicab Moguls
“I have never even been to Trump Tower.”
Category: Michael Cohen
‘Sorry!’ Michael Cohen Says He’ll Tell Robert Mueller That Trump Lied About Infamous Trump Tower Meeting
If true, this means Don Jr. lied to the Senate Judiciary Committee.
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How About We Just Go Ahead And Subpoena Allen Weisselberg?
“He knows every dollar that goes in and every dollar that leaves.”
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CNN Releases ‘Secret’ Trump-Cohen Tape, ‘He’s Gonna Flip!’ Alan Dershowitz Warns
“He’s going to flip. There’s no question.”
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‘Your Favorite President Did Nothing Wrong!’ Trump Takes To Twitter Amid News Of Cohen Recordings
“Totally unheard of.”
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FBI Has Recording Of Trump Discussing Playboy Model Payoff With Michael Cohen: NYT
But don’t worry, Rudy Giuliani says this is actually good news.
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Michael Cohen Sounds Like He Wants To Flip On Donald Trump – There’s Just No Other Way To Say It
“Oh, so very interesting how he is including his “country” in there!”
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So Michael Cohen Met With A Russian Oligarch In Trump Tower 11 Days Before The Inauguration And Got A $1 Million Consulting Contract From His Cousin Two Weeks Later. Is That Really All That Suspicious?!
“Pour one out for poor Michael Cohen, who is really, really bad at crime. No matter how much he practices, he always fucks it up. And he practices A LOT.”
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Tell Us More Rudy Giuliani. Please, God Tell Us More.
“We are old enough to remember when this guy insisted that the investigation would be over in two weeks, but please, tell us more about the time when Robert Mueller sat down with Rudy Giuliani for a long heart-to-heart about legal strategy!”
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In Retrospect, AT&T Realizes Paying Michael Cohen Was A Terrible, Terrible Idea
“Well, this is awkward.”
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‘Who Knew Michael Cohen Was Leonardo da Vinci?’ Trump Lawyer Trolled As Novartis, AT&T Struggle To Explain Ties To Porn Star Slush Fund
Now, everyone listed in that document is scrambling around to try and explain exactly why they wired a shit load of money to a shell company that, among other things, was used to payoff a goddamn porn star who (allegedly) spanked the President of the United States with a magazine, before fucking him while watching Shark Week.
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Does Anyone Know How These Russians Got Into Michael Cohen’s Porn Star Slush Fund? If So, Let Him Know, Because He Has No Idea.
Good luck explaining this.
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Rudy Giuliani, Philosopher, Poses Kantian Question ‘What Is Truth?’
“If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell. And if you’re too stupid to do any of those things, send in Rudy Giuliani.” –Carl Sandburg, more or less
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How To Confess To Multiple Crimes On National Television: A Lawsplainer For Rudy Giuliani
“There is no strategy. No nine-dimensional chess. No secret plan to own the libs. There’s just a bunch of bumbling old fools, arrogant enough to think they can beat Robert Mueller by WINGIN’ IT!”