Markets Trump

Donald Trump, ‘Legendary’ Businessman, Made Christmas Eve Panic Call To Mystery Investor As Stocks Crashed

It doesn't get any funnier than this, folks.

Remember when Don Jr. and Kellyanne Conway were all over Twitter and cable news shouting about how the stock market was up because a “businessman” was now in charge of the country?

I do. That was always amusing because in this case, the “businessman” in question has bankrupted not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, but six businesses and as it turns out, the fairy tale of Donald Trump “the man who turned a ‘small loan’ from his father into an empire” was just that – a fairy tale.

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Surprise! Donald Trump’s Past Is A Giant Fraud In Every Sense Of The Word

You didn’t have to be an economist or a famous financier to understand that in reality, Trump would have more money today had he simply plowed his inheritance into an index fund and let it sit for fifty years. Indeed, Elizabeth Warren suggested as much long before the New York Times confirmed it earlier this year in a sweeping expose.

Fast forward 11 months from the euphoric equity market highs of January 2018 and U.S. stocks have collapsed in the worst December rout since the Great Depression. The proximate cause: Donald Trump’s economic policies which have i) forced the Fed to lean more hawkish than they otherwise might, ii) cast considerable doubt on the fate of global trade and commerce, iii) saddled the U.S. with an even more unsustainable debt burden than he inherited when he took office.

A real “businessman” would naturally know how to turn things around, as would a legendary investor of the sort Trump claims to be. But because Donald Trump is neither a businessman nor an investor, he is absolutely clueless as to how to stanch the bleeding.

So what did he do earlier this week following the worst Christmas Eve trading in recorded history? Why, he had someone ask a real investor for help, that’s what he did. Here’s CNBC to ‘splain:

A high-ranking Trump administration official reached out to at least one well-known investor for advice on markets after a recent drubbing for stocks, sources told CNBC.

The call took place after a sell-off on Christmas Eve, the worst day of Dec. 24 trading ever.

That would be funny enough on its own, but it gets better – and immeasurably so.

Can you guess what this “one well-known” investor suggested Trump do? If you said: he/she advised the President to stop being a crazy idiot, you win a call from a “high-ranking Trump official”, apparently. Here’s CNBC again:

The administration, which has judged Trump’s success in part on stock market performance, is “determined” to boost equities, the sources said. The sources said the investor advised the official to tell the president to end his criticism of Powell on Twitter, stop administration turnover and reach a trade deal with China in order to help markets.

In case it is in any way unclear from that (and I don’t know how it could be) whoever this was, basically told Trump that his entire strategy for everything, whether it’s his cabinet, his economic policies, his foreign policies and/or his approach to dealing with the Fed, is stone, cold wrong and, if it persists, may ultimately catalyze an outright market collapse.

What else could we possibly add here other than to note that all of the people who were variously lampooned for predicting, on election night, that eventually Trump would crash the market and transform everything he touches into dogsh*t, have now been vindicated.

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On Christmas Day, A Desperate Trump Begs America To Buy The Dip In Stocks

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9 comments on “Donald Trump, ‘Legendary’ Businessman, Made Christmas Eve Panic Call To Mystery Investor As Stocks Crashed

  1. #MAGA

  2. Sound advice, that he could/should have 1) known already, 2) gotten from his cabinet.

  3. Anyone want to take bets on how long Trump can manage his “impulse control” and stay off Twitter?

    • I think it already ended. He is seriously ADD and impulsive and self destructive. All the profilers are having a field day with his very stable geniusness. Remember his gut knows more about everything and lots of things.

  4. Sound advice I have seen about 2 million times on his twitter feed……………. Doesn’t need an investment genius to figure it out. It really does highlight how clueless and in over his head he is. I seriously believe no one would hire him in any capacity. He wouldn’t last 5 minutes in any job interview. Sad!!!!

  5. monkfelonious

    But, but the trading day after! Who in their right mind other than those that are lucky enough to EVERY TIME get out of a day trending trade are in this market? Up early, check. Trend (up or down) clearly, check. Can I get out by the end, no check.

  6. John Mulaney’s (comedian) analogy for the Trump White House:

    This guy being the president, it’s like there’s a horse loose in a hospital. I think eventually everything’s going to be OK, but I have no idea what’s going to happen next. And neither do any of you, and neither do your parents, because there’s a horse loose in the hospital. That’s never happened before! No one knows what the horse is going to do next, least of all the horse. He’s never been in the hospital before, he’s just as confused as you are.

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