Of Chimps And Dictators.

Listen, we’ve got a President who is a “very stable genius,” ok?

You know that, right? And I mean, if you’re one of those cynical people who thinks maybe calling yourself a “very stable genius” on Twitter might be stone, cold proof of exactly the opposite, then Trump will be happy to give you the Rex Tillerson treatment by challenging you to an IQ test.

Trump’s genius was on full display Tuesday when, in his traditional morning tweet blast to the country, he said this:

Lowest rated Oscars in HISTORY. Problem is, we don’t have Stars anymore – except your President (just kidding, of course)!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 6, 2018

Yes, “jk!“, “lolz“.

He actually replied to that tweet with this:

Federal Judge in Maryland has just ruled that “President Trump has the right to end DACA.” President Obama had 8 years to fix this problem, and didn’t. I am waiting for the Dems, they are running for the hills!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 6, 2018

Because those two things are definitely related. That’s not a non sequitur.

And see, that’s the kind of shit that underscores the point I was trying to make on Monday in “Trump: I’m Not Backing Down Because ‘It’s Called NAFTA’ And Europe Sends Cars ‘Like Water’“. Donald Trump is a lot of things and that list has apparently grown to include “traitor”, “serial obstructor of justice”, and “would-be authoritarian” over the last two years, but at the end of the day, he is first and foremost a moron.

Believe it or not, that’s actually an “in defense of Trump” comment. Do I think he’s guilty of pretty much everything he’s (implicitly) charged with? Yes. Do I think he’s an inherently evil guy? No. He’s just a chauvinistic, narcissistic, “big league” moron and the point I was trying to make in the above-linked post about the looming trade war, is that when it comes to making decisions that have the potential to literally change the world, you’d almost rather have the evil guy than the moron.

Now clearly that has its limits. You don’t want Hitler-esque evil, right? Right. But right below “Hitler” on the list of “people” you don’t want making big decisions is “geriatric, arrogant chimpanzee”. Because there’s no way to know, definitively, what a monkey with early-stage Alzheimer’s might do when presented with a “problem.”

Occasionally, the chimp might make the “right” decision. After all, it’s a monkey, not a goldfish, so there are going to be times when it’s going to figure out what everyone around it thinks is the “right” thing to do. You saw this in real-time last week during the gun control meeting. He didn’t go into that pow wow with a script. He picked up on visual cues in the room and he seemed to kind of deduce something from Mike Pence’s tone on the way to piecing things together – just like a monkey would do. Watch it again:

See what I’m saying? Watch it again and you can just see the wheels slowly turning in his mind as he tries to figure out what everyone wants him to do.

So sometimes you get that. But other times, depending on what kind of mood it’s in, a monkey might just shit in its own hand and throw it at you. And that’s what we got on the tariffs decision. According to numerous reports, Trump was agitated about something completely unrelated to trade and he did exactly what you’d expect a monkey to do when it’s already irritated and you present it with a problem – he spazzed out.

I think the vast majority of Americans understand this and indeed, there’s a certain sense in which even Trump’s most ardent supporters get it. A lot of the pushback you get from the people close to him is something akin to “well, sometimes he does try to cram square pegs into round holes, but that doesn’t mean he’s an evil person.”

You know what? They’re right. It doesn’t make him a dictator, it just makes him a monkey.

And see that’s the point I’ve been trying to drive home for the past six months. There are a lot of reasons to impeach Trump, but the best one is probably the simplest: he functions at a sub-human level.