Tuesday Satire: Girl Scouts Obtain Restraining Order On Trump

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Via The New Yorker’s satirist Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)–In an extraordinary rebuke of the President of the United States, the Girl Scouts of the U.S.A. have obtained a restraining order against Donald J. Trump.

The order, which the Girls Scouts were granted on Monday night, prevents Trump from coming within three hundred feet of any gathering of the Scouts’ organization.

Carol Foyler, a Girl Scouts spokesperson, said that while the G.S.U.S.A. sought the restraining order “out of an abundance of caution,” the girls themselves were “in no way, shape or form” afraid of President Trump.

“They’re prepared to deal with bobcats and bears,” she said. “They can handle a malignant narcissist.”

Trump wasted little time responding to the Girl Scouts’ action, lashing out at the organization in a blistering early-morning tweet storm.

“Failing Girl Scouts bad (or sick) guys,” Trump wrote. “Mints, cookies terrible. Sad!”

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As a reminder….

Here’s Trump telling thousands of Boy Scouts at their national “Jamboree” event that Washington is a “sewer” and a “cesspool.”

Pres. Trump calls D.C. a 'cesspool' or 'sewer' in Scout Jamboree speech. "Believe me, I'd much rather be with you." https://t.co/kZy1uS44p2 pic.twitter.com/yWPm8Jke80

— ABC News (@ABC) July 24, 2017

Oh wait, one more thing.

Here is the most unnerving clip of them all. Watch as Trump indoctrinates the Boy Scouts by explaining – much as he did to former FBI Director Comey – how he expects “loyalty”:

Trump tells 40,000 Boy Scouts: "We could really use some more loyalty, I will tell you that." pic.twitter.com/7gQ04lsdU5

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) July 24, 2017