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“Thank You For Calling Fox News 9-1-1”
Via The New Yorker
Thank you for calling 9-1-1, a division of Fox News. Your emergencies are important to us. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed.
To continue in English, just keep listening–everything here is in English, because, the last time we checked, this was ​America​, goddammit.
[Whispered] ​This call may be monitored or recorded.
If this is not an emergency, please hang up and stop being such a snowflake. If this is an emergency, please s
