Comey Satire: “I Heard Someone Screaming, And Then A Big Crash”

Following the testimony we got on Thursday from former FBI Director and man who definitely wasn’t fired because he was investigating the President’s ties to Moscow, James Comey, you might be in need of a little comic relief.

Unfortunately, Donald Trump didn’t live tweet the proceedings, a decision that deprived America of what might very well have been one of the all-time epic Twitter meltdowns, but his son (the one who doesn’t look like he got hit in the head with a sledgehammer early in life) was on the job and delivered a respectable dose of “covfefe” including this gem:

[Note: If you want to see one truly ridiculous attempt to exonerate Trump, you’re encouraged to check out “Comey Takeaway: Sen. Jim Risch Would Make A Terrible Hitman“]

And while Trump Jr. and Americans with similarly low IQs somehow managed to get “vindication” from Comey’s account of what sounded a lot like outright extortion, we can’t help but think that whether he admits it or not, Trump knows damn well he didn’t come out smelling like a rose on Thursday.

Given that, we thought the latest piece from The New Yorker’s satirist Andy Borowitz was particularly amusing…

Via The New Yorker

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The White House was on lockdown Thursday morning after a television was hurled out of a window, the Secret Service reported.

The incident, which occurred shortly after 10 a.m. E.S.T., caught the attention of the Secret Service after agents heard the sound of smashing glass emanating from the Oval Office.

“The sound was consistent with that of a large object, such as a television set, being thrown through a closed window,” a Secret Service spokesman said.

The television, which crashed to the ground outside the Oval Office, injured no one, the Secret Service confirmed.

A group of fourth-grade students from Bethesda, Maryland, was on a White House tour when the incident involving the television occurred.

“I heard someone screaming lots of swear words and then, like, this big crash,” Zach Dorrinson, a student on the tour, said. “It was messed up.”

Meanwhile, Kellyanne didn’t hear a thing…

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2 thoughts on “Comey Satire: “I Heard Someone Screaming, And Then A Big Crash”

  1. This just keeps getting better and better. A tweet (sh*t) storm is coming you can count on it. I thought the loud noise through the window would have been Sessions or Comey’s special autographed picture he signed personally for “the donald”. Drip, drip, drip………….

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  2. Nobody’s mind was changed by the testimony as I predicted. The anti-trumpettes and other assorted fiendish followers of of F-wadism are still feasting on imaginary visions of Russian collusion after the case for obstruction bascially becomes a Rorshach test.

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