Memorial Day Satire: “Garrett Kushner? I Hardly Knew Her”

Well, needless to say, Jared Kushner is fucked.

I suppose you’ve figured that out by now.

Call it espionage/treason (if you despise him) or call it naivety (if you think maybe he didn’t realize what he was getting himself into), but whatever you do, don’t call it “something people are going to let slide“, because I can assure you that’s not an accurate way to describe this situation.

A couple of hours ago, NBC reported that according to one source, “a few individuals have suggested to Kushner that he should ‘lay low,'” in the aftermath of what surfaced last week.

One White House official, who spoke to NBC on the condition of anonymity, said that “at least one staffer was speechless when they learned about reports of a purported Russia back channel.”

Meanwhile, “Kush” is being trolled by lawmakers including Ted Lieu (who earlier this month, made Trump a handy cheat sheet for his first overseas trip as President):

Of course, as The New Yorker’s satirist Andy Borowitz imagines, Trump could always just do Jared like Sean Spicer did Paul Manafort

Via The New Yorker

TAORMINA, Italy (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump on Saturday accused the media of exaggerating his relationship with Jared Kushner, asserting that “I don’t know him very well.”

“He’s someone I would see around the office and who, I guess, was working for me,” Trump told reporters on the last leg of his foreign trip. “Beyond that, I couldn’t tell you much about him.”

Trump acknowledged that he had spoken to Kushner at times during the 2016 campaign. “I’d pass him in the hall and say hello,” he said. “He seemed like an O.K. person. I never got much of a sense of the guy.”

When asked whether Kushner might have had improper contact with Russian spies during the transition, Trump said, “I couldn’t tell you if that’s the kind of thing he’d do. You really should ask someone who knows him.”

Trump refused to answer further questions about Kushner’s possible legal difficulties, saying only, “I wish Garrett well.”


Speak On It