Well, Donald Trump met Pope Francis on Wednesday and the pope called him fat.
No, seriously. That’s real. The satire comes later:
Pope Francis jokes to Melania: "What do you give him to eat?" pic.twitter.com/KUIukfeQNX
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) May 24, 2017
Yes, “what do you give him to eat?”
The pontiff’s guess was “Potizza,” a calorie-laden, holiday pastry served in Melania’s native Slovenia.
So that’s fun.
“It is my desire that you become an olive tree to construct peace,” Pope later told Trump, in a one-on-one meeting. Trump’s response: “We can use peace.”
In another apparent effort to troll the President, Francis gave Trump a signed copy of his of “Nonviolence – A Style of Politics for Peace” and, even more amusingly, a copy of his 2015 letter on how important it is to protect the environment from climate change. As Bloomberg reminds you, “Trump has said climate change might be a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese.”
“Well, I’ll be reading them,” Trump told Francis.
Even better was the fact that Trump gave Francis a special edition of the works of Martin Luther King. Perhaps this would have been a better choice:
Well, with that as the backdrop, I bring you the latest from The New Yorker’s satirist Andy Borowitz who imagines that the other countries on Trump’s itinerary would rather just wait for Mike Pence to become President because after all, “it makes no sense for us to roll out the red carpet for Trump when there is going to be a completely different guy in the White House in a month.”
BRUSSELS (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump’s foreign trip hit a snag on Tuesday, when the remaining countries on his itinerary announced that they would rather “wait a month” and meet with the next President instead.
“It makes no sense for us to roll out the red carpet for Trump when there is going to be a completely different guy in the White House in a month,” Hendrik van der Valde, a travel minister for the Belgian government, said. “We very much look forward to hosting the next U.S. President, be it Mike Pence or Paul Ryan or whoever.”
Citing the exorbitant costs of hosting a President, the Belgian said it “would be insane” to spend such sums on someone who “only has a few weeks left” in office.
“When a President comes to your country, you have to feed not only him but a whole plane full of people that he brings,” the minister added. “Jared Kushner, for example, eats a ton, and no one even knows what he does.”
NATO ministers, who had been slated to meet with Trump in Brussels on Thursday, voted unanimously last night to reschedule the meeting for June to accommodate his replacement.
According to one nato minister, “We don’t see why we should be speaking to Donald Trump when even Melania isn’t doing that.”
As a reminder: