‘Enough!’ A Disgusted Cramer Tells A British Nobleman He’s Selling Facebook

“I don’t want to get up in the morning'” and see a bad headline every day.”

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Jim Cramer, Still High On The Eagles, Tries To Tweet-Murder TVIX Holders

Fly Eagles, Fly!!

And Now, Please Watch This Video Of Jim Cramer Weeping With With Inchoate Joy

Cramer Apologizes To Poland For Comparing Nazi Fight To Macy’s

“The Polish army fought gallantly against all odds. Along and outgunned, Poland mustered every unit it could to defend against the attack.”

Tuesday Humor: Cramer On Pizza

Note that what you’re about to read is a veritable miracle of comedic efficiency. It’s hard to imagine that the stars will ever align again in such a way that allows so much senseless bullsh*t to be crammed into so few words.