Skip to content
Thursday, October 29, 2026
Heisenberg Report

Heisenberg Report

Sign In Subscribe
  • Home
  • Markets
  • Economy
  • Politics
  • Weekly
  • Monthly Letters
  • Kitsch Register

Author: therealheisenberg

Russell Shuffle Day, Brexit Anniversary, & Crude Carnage

June 23, 2017

It’s Russell reshuffle day, which means equities will likely be jarred out of any summer

Read More

oil, OPECLeave a Comment on Russell Shuffle Day, Brexit Anniversary, & Crude Carnage

Key Calls (Friday): Upgrades, Downgrades & Initiations

June 23, 2017June 23, 2017

You need to upgrade.

Read More

Leave a Comment on Key Calls (Friday): Upgrades, Downgrades & Initiations

The Big 3’s Exit Plan In 1 “Easy” Flowchart

June 22, 2017

“It’s so simple”…

Read More

1 Comment on The Big 3’s Exit Plan In 1 “Easy” Flowchart

“Hakuna Matata”?

June 22, 2017

“In our opinion, this is not dangerous market complacency but a reflection of an abnormally tranquil macro environment, with a benign economic outlook, very supportive financial conditions, and lower political risks”…

Read More

Leave a Comment on “Hakuna Matata”?

“Fuck My Life”: Trump Aides Respond To Comey Conspiracy Tweets

June 22, 2017

“At least that’s behind us.” When alerted to his apparent suspicions of Oval Office surveillance, the official replied in a text message, “fml.”

Read More

6 Comments on “Fuck My Life”: Trump Aides Respond To Comey Conspiracy Tweets

Goldman Has 5 Exciting Options Trades They Want To Tell You About

June 22, 2017

Katherine and John are back and they want you to know that “the month of July has been a popular month for companies to preannounce over the past six years.”

Read More

Leave a Comment on Goldman Has 5 Exciting Options Trades They Want To Tell You About

“Unless They Can Read Minds,” Trump’s Lawyers Have No Idea If He’s Under Investigation

June 22, 2017June 22, 2017

“And as for the claim that no investigation exists at all — unless the President’s lawyer can read minds, he really would have no way of knowing.  The rest, as they say, is mere speculation.”

Read More

1 Comment on “Unless They Can Read Minds,” Trump’s Lawyers Have No Idea If He’s Under Investigation

Bluff Called: Trump Has No “Tapes” Of James Comey

June 22, 2017June 22, 2017

“I did not make any such recordings.”

Read More

7 Comments on Bluff Called: Trump Has No “Tapes” Of James Comey

“I Just Don’t Want A Poor Person”: Trump Explains How Much He Cares About “The People”

June 22, 2017June 22, 2017

“I just don’t want poor people in these positions.”

Read More

Leave a Comment on “I Just Don’t Want A Poor Person”: Trump Explains How Much He Cares About “The People”

Chart Of The Day: Asset Prices In The Trump Era

June 22, 2017

See if you can spot what’s still hanging on for dear life at record highs/tights despite lackluster incoming data and central bank tightening…

Read More

oilLeave a Comment on Chart Of The Day: Asset Prices In The Trump Era

Trader: “You Really Shouldn’t Make It Up As You Go Along”

June 22, 2017June 22, 2017

“They don’t have to be governed only by the lowest common denominator. Nor forever ignore the negative externalities of oppressively low global rates and how they further suppress yields and encourage profligate risk-taking.”

Read More

1 Comment on Trader: “You Really Shouldn’t Make It Up As You Go Along”

Trump: I’ll Build Wall Out Of Solar Panels Because There’s “Lots Of Sun” Down There

June 22, 2017

“Pretty good imagination, right?,” he asked supporters. “Good? My idea.” 

Read More

8 Comments on Trump: I’ll Build Wall Out Of Solar Panels Because There’s “Lots Of Sun” Down There

Grab A Pitchfork: Albert Edwards Predicts Imminent Popular Revolt Against Central Banks

June 22, 2017

“In an age of “radical uncertainty” how long will it be before angry citizens tire of blaming an impotent political system for their ills and turn on the main culprits for their poverty – unelected and virtually unaccountable central bankers?”

Read More

Leave a Comment on Grab A Pitchfork: Albert Edwards Predicts Imminent Popular Revolt Against Central Banks

Stocks In Saudi Arabia Rally Again, Up A Staggering 9% On The Week

June 22, 2017

In case you were in any way unclear about this: Saudi stocks are super excited

Read More

Leave a Comment on Stocks In Saudi Arabia Rally Again, Up A Staggering 9% On The Week

A Kiwi, A Krone, And An Oil Rout

June 22, 2017

It was relatively quiet overnight session which saw market participants continuing to focus squarely on

Read More

oil, OPECLeave a Comment on A Kiwi, A Krone, And An Oil Rout

Key Calls (Thursday): Upgrades, Downgrades & Initiations

June 22, 2017June 22, 2017

Are your stocks on the list?

Read More

Leave a Comment on Key Calls (Thursday): Upgrades, Downgrades & Initiations

Full Energy Retard: The Final Chapter

June 21, 2017

“You gotta be super smart to trade credit, buddy, it’s not easy”…

Read More

oil, OPECLeave a Comment on Full Energy Retard: The Final Chapter

Trump Vs. Trump: There Can Be Only One

June 21, 2017June 21, 2017

“Trump’s determination to undermine his symbolic self has become especially clear in the last two months: The presidential tweets are screaming of self-sabotage, and the display of conflicts of interests is just too obvious and explicitly self-incriminating to be unintentional.”

Read More

2 Comments on Trump Vs. Trump: There Can Be Only One

It Just Got Worse: Crude Plunges To 10-Month Low, Credit Gets Nervous

June 21, 2017June 21, 2017

One day after crashing into a bear market, crude continued to plunge. As a reminder,

Read More

oil, OPEC2 Comments on It Just Got Worse: Crude Plunges To 10-Month Low, Credit Gets Nervous

‘And Now, Deep BTFD Thoughts,’ By Cameron Crise

June 21, 2017

“If the post-crisis equity rally were to have a theme song, it would probably be called “just buy the dip.” The strategy has generally worked well, until recently, when there seem to have been no dips to buy.”

Read More

Leave a Comment on ‘And Now, Deep BTFD Thoughts,’ By Cameron Crise

Mohammed Bin Salman Consolidates Power, Saudi Stocks Soar: “No Question Who’s In Charge”

June 21, 2017June 21, 2017

“It’s clearly a transition that has happened smoothly and bloodlessly. Now it’s clear, it’s straightforward. That kind of clarity lowers the risk. There’s no question as to who’s going to be in charge.”

Read More

Leave a Comment on Mohammed Bin Salman Consolidates Power, Saudi Stocks Soar: “No Question Who’s In Charge”

Guest Post: The Reverse Tepper Moment

June 21, 2017

“In the current environment, we have the opposite situation. Either the economy rolls over (which should be bad for stocks), or it bounces, at which point the Federal Reserve continues on its tightening path (which could also be bad for stocks).”

Read More

1 Comment on Guest Post: The Reverse Tepper Moment

Wednesday Humor: Trump Says “Obstruction Doesn’t Work!”

June 21, 2017June 21, 2017

Note to self…

Read More

Leave a Comment on Wednesday Humor: Trump Says “Obstruction Doesn’t Work!”

One Chart Shows The Stunning Disconnect Between Markets And Reality

June 21, 2017

It’s probably nothing…

Read More

3 Comments on One Chart Shows The Stunning Disconnect Between Markets And Reality

One Trader Has Had It With Your “Wild Projections Fueled By Irrelevant Moral Outrage”

June 21, 2017June 21, 2017

“Traders need to remind themselves that you can’t win the war if you keep losing one battle after another.”

Read More

Leave a Comment on One Trader Has Had It With Your “Wild Projections Fueled By Irrelevant Moral Outrage”

Wells Fargo: Amazon Wardrobe Is “Another Nail In The Coffin” For Department Stores

June 21, 2017

“Simply put, it’s a negative.”

Read More

1 Comment on Wells Fargo: Amazon Wardrobe Is “Another Nail In The Coffin” For Department Stores

Goldman Asks: How Long Can The Market Stay ‘Boring’ And When Will Volatility Spike?

June 21, 2017

“Since Q1 2016, volatility across assets, and in particular for equities, has declined and stayed remarkably low YTD. As a result, investors often ask how long the current ‘boring’ markets can continue, and what the risks and asset allocation implications are.”

Read More

1 Comment on Goldman Asks: How Long Can The Market Stay ‘Boring’ And When Will Volatility Spike?

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 673 674 675 … 755 Next

Monthly Letter

  • To Be Happy

Recent Comments

  • Engineer on Dissembling Strategery
  • Engineer on Mona Lisa’s Smirk
  • Engineer on The Tragic Irony Of The Israeli State
  • WMD on F-ck You, Claude (Zen)

Monthly Letters

To Be Happy

September 4, 2026September 4, 2026

Hell Or High Fashion

July 3, 2026July 3, 2026

Escape Artists

May 11, 2026May 11, 2026

Questions, tips or inquiries of any kind: [email protected]

Privacy Policy & Cookies

About Us

Subscription FAQs

All Rights Reserved 2026.

Upgrade your subscription

Join institutional investors, analysts and strategists from the world's largest banks
Subscribe now for just $7

Already a subscriber? Log in here

Loading Comments...

You must be logged in to post a comment.