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Author: therealheisenberg

The Tube Man And A Million Dollar Lesson in Credit Risk

May 3, 2018

“It hadn’t been the first time Cliff had been hit, but at a million-dollar payout, this was by far the largest gambling loss that anyone had ever seen experienced on the NYSE Floor for a sports bet at the time.”

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JPMorgan Poaches Carnegie Mellon’s Top AI Professor In Clearest Sign Yet That Jamie Dimon Will Transfer His Brain To The Cloud And Become Immortal

May 3, 2018

Now we know what Jay-Dimez and Travis Kalanick were talking about in that photo.

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Riders On The Storm(y).

May 3, 2018May 3, 2018

Turn on your wipers.

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Oh, Dear God: Feds ‘Monitored’ Michael Cohen’s Phone, Logged Call With White House

May 3, 2018May 3, 2018

“The wires were tapped!”

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2 Comments on Oh, Dear God: Feds ‘Monitored’ Michael Cohen’s Phone, Logged Call With White House

Turkish Assets Collapse As Inflation Spirals Out Of Control – Fed Jitters, Erdogan Insanity Not Helpful Either

May 3, 2018

Now cue Erdogan to explain how the problem is the “interest rate lobby”.

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1 Comment on Turkish Assets Collapse As Inflation Spirals Out Of Control – Fed Jitters, Erdogan Insanity Not Helpful Either

David Stockman Is Not Particularly Amused With Your Inflation Targeting

May 3, 2018

“Is there any evidence that the microscopic variance between 1.9%  and 2.3% inflation on the PCE deflator makes any difference to the performance and prosperity of the main street economy?”

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4 Comments on David Stockman Is Not Particularly Amused With Your Inflation Targeting

Goldman Presents: 3 Reasons To Not Worry And Be Happy

May 3, 2018May 3, 2018

Keep calm and take (some more) risk.

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1 Comment on Goldman Presents: 3 Reasons To Not Worry And Be Happy

‘M-A-R-S’! A Disillusioned Wall Street Picks Up The Pieces After Elon Musk’s ‘Downright Bizarre’, Extraterrestrial Conference Call

May 3, 2018

“Why you doin’ this man? I thought you was my brother, why you askin’ me questions like that?”

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‘We Seem To Have Moved To Talking About A Global Downturn’: Hong Kong Dives, Indonesia In Rout As Fed Jitters Spread

May 3, 2018May 3, 2018

“Who wants to buy stocks in a country where the currency is weakening?”

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1 Comment on ‘We Seem To Have Moved To Talking About A Global Downturn’: Hong Kong Dives, Indonesia In Rout As Fed Jitters Spread

Elon Musk Wants You To Know That Tesla Conference Calls Are ‘Cool’ Kids Only Events – No ‘Boring’ Adults Allowed

May 2, 2018

All that was missing was Wilbur Ross.

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‘Bonds, Bonds, Everywhere!’

May 2, 2018May 2, 2018

“At what price?”

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2 Comments on ‘Bonds, Bonds, Everywhere!’

‘Encouraging Things’.

May 2, 2018May 2, 2018

Things no one knows about.

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Fed Statement: Highlights, Red Line (They’re Going With ‘Close To’)

May 2, 2018May 2, 2018

FED KEEPS RATES UNCHANGED, SAYS INFLATION `MOVED CLOSE’ TO 2%

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4 Comments on Fed Statement: Highlights, Red Line (They’re Going With ‘Close To’)

Trump Replaces ‘Retiring’ Ty Cobb With Clinton Impeachment Attorney Emmet T. Flood, Because That’s What People Who Aren’t Worried About Impeachment Do

May 2, 2018May 2, 2018

Another day, another shakeup in Trump’s legal nightmare.

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3 Comments on Trump Replaces ‘Retiring’ Ty Cobb With Clinton Impeachment Attorney Emmet T. Flood, Because That’s What People Who Aren’t Worried About Impeachment Do

Here’s A Quick Guide To The May Fed Statement (Because I Know You Care)

May 2, 2018May 2, 2018

What’s the frequency Jay?

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Trader: Powell Has A Plan. There’s Just One Problem…

May 2, 2018

“Powell has got a plan, and his sticking to it so vehemently will ultimately be a mistake. “

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Turns Out, Robert Mueller Threatened To Subpoena Trump Last Month And Boy Were Trump’s Lawyers Mad!

May 2, 2018May 2, 2018

‘This isn’t some game.’

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3 Comments on Turns Out, Robert Mueller Threatened To Subpoena Trump Last Month And Boy Were Trump’s Lawyers Mad!

You Mortals Weren’t Ready For JPMorgan’s Marko Kolanovic – And Marko Wasn’t Ready For You Mortals

May 2, 2018May 2, 2018

You know what? I’m not sure you people are emotionally stable enough to be trusted with Marko Kolanovic notes anymore.

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FX Versus The May 12 Iran Decision: Why Oil At $80 Will Be Dollar Positive

May 2, 2018

Upside down.

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Wilbur Ross Details Entirely Realistic Plan For Trump Administration To Exploit Trillion Dollar Space Industry

May 1, 2018

Yes, “wow.”

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David Stockman Is Not Impressed With Ronald McDonald

May 1, 2018

“Needless to say, you can’t capitalize those types of gains because they are non-recurring and non-sustainable.”

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Spaced Out.

May 1, 2018May 1, 2018

Phone home.

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Trump Announces Space Force As 6th Branch Of Military, Asks: ‘Does That Make Sense?’

May 1, 2018May 1, 2018

Nope. It sure doesn’t.

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‘Think Of Oxygen’: One Bank (Still) Thinks There Has Never Been A Better Time To Be Long Commodities

May 1, 2018

“Think of oxygen: if it became scarce we would pay an enormous premium today for it as we don’t need it tomorrow if we don’t have it today.”

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Take Note: ‘This Will Have Profound Implications For Everything The USD Touches’

May 1, 2018May 1, 2018

Are you short the dollar (implicitly or explicitly)?

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3 Comments on Take Note: ‘This Will Have Profound Implications For Everything The USD Touches’

Giant Mutual Fund Firm Trying Very Hard To Stop Being A Mutual Fund Firm

May 1, 2018May 1, 2018

He has a very long way to go.

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Here’s Where Everyone Stands On The Metals Tariffs As Trump Goes The ‘Let’s Just Do It Tomorrow’ Route

May 1, 2018May 1, 2018

Make trade uncertainty great again.

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