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Herman Cain For Fed Board! Let’s Talk Pluses And Minuses (If You’re Trump)

If you're Donald Trump, there's a lot to like about Herman Cain.

If you’re Donald Trump, there’s a lot to like about Herman Cain.

For one thing, Cain ran a long-shot campaign for the White House based in part around absurd allusions to himself (e.g., “The Hermanator Experience”). Much like Trump.

For another thing, Cain can’t name the president of “Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan.” Neither, one assumes, can Trump.

For still another thing, Cain has been accused of sexual harassment and having an extramarital affair. Just like Trump.

Also, Cain literally “can’t imagine” a world without American junk food. Neither can Trump.

One check in the “minus” column if you’re Trump, though, is that Cain didn’t actually win the presidency. Trump hates “losers”. And really, what does it say about a man when he can’t overcome a sexual harassment allegation to become president? I mean, Trump overcame like 40 of them and even managed to brush aside an actual audio tape where he brags about grabbin’ pussy. Cain, on the other hand, “couldn’t get there” (to the White House, that is).

One other potential “negative” is that Cain is black, very much unlike Trump. In fact, according to his prison-bound former attorney, Trump thinks African Americans are “too stupid” to vote. But maybe not on Fed policy – assuming that vote is to cut rates. Who knows. Plus, Trump has demonstrated a willingness to forgive and forget when it comes to people making the “mistake” of being black – just ask Kanye.

On a first read, then, there appear to be far more pluses than minuses in a hypothetical scenario where Trump was considering Cain for a seat on the Fed Board.

Well, according to Bloomberg’s Jennifer Jacobs, this is not a “hypothetical” – it is in fact very real. Cain was in the White House on Wednesday, Jacobs’ sources say, and it looks like the President is indeed considering him for one of two (or hell, who knows, maybe both) vacant seats on the Fed board.

As Jacobs goes on to say, this is not (quite) as absurd as it sounds on a first read. “Cain had a long corporate career and is also familiar with the Federal Reserve system”, she notes, adding that “from 1992 to 1996, he served as a director of the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City, as well as deputy chairman and then chairman.”

That means we haven’t quite reached the ridiculous end game which will invariably find Trump appointing himself Fed chair.

But as alluded to above, there are some potential pitfalls to nominating the former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza (and ordained Baptist minister), not the least of which is that his confirmation hearing would likely devolve into a rerun of the Brett Kavanaugh train wreck, only with a black man shouting “look, I like pizza!” rather than an overprivileged white man pounding the table and insisting (for no discernible reason) that he “likes beer!”

Cain has another thing going for him vis-a-vis Trump. He was a top executive at Pillsbury and we all know how much Trump likes anything to do with the word “Pillsbury”.

On the other hand, Burger King was a Pillsbury subsidiary at the time, and Trump wasn’t particularly amused when the “King” lampooned the “hamberder” boondoggle earlier this month.

So much to consider!

One final thing we would note is that these kinds of stories have a habit of disappearing quickly once the administration finds out how funny everyone thinks they are, so don’t be surprised if there’s an official denial by the end of the week.

We’ll just leave you with this:


 

2 comments on “Herman Cain For Fed Board! Let’s Talk Pluses And Minuses (If You’re Trump)

  1. Richard Haider says:

    Video, priceless! You just posted the supreme qualifications of Herman Cain.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I actually like Cain and respected his business acumen. Also, I had no idea he was on the KC Fed board. But there are so many more qualified people out there. I thought Trump only hired the best (not a knock on Cain).

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