Donald Trump is on an insane roll with the bombast and outlandish soundbites which have come in so fast and so (literally) furious over the past 24 hours that trying to keep up with him has become an exercise in futility.
Obviously, the President is coming off a rough weekend, where “rough” means i) the New York Times revealed the existence of a 2017 FBI investigation into whether he was/is an actual Russian agent, ii) the Washington Post reported that he once seized “the notes of his own interpreter and instruct[ed] the linguist not to discuss what had transpired [in a meeting with Vladimir Putin] with other administration officials” and iii) is being subjected to incessant questions about whether it makes sense to hold the government hostage as part of a exceedingly quixotic effort to built a $5.7 billion, 2,000-mile-long invisible steel fence on the southern border to keep out Mexicans.
Predictably, Trump made things worse on Saturday evening when, in an interview with Fox’s Jeanine Pirro, he didn’t say “no” when asked, by the friendliest of friendly reporters (Pirro), whether he was in fact a Russian plant.
Fast forward to Sunday evening and Trump decided it would be a good idea to brand Jeff Bezos (who, by the way, is actually rich, as opposed to Trump, who may in fact have a net worth less than zero depending on how much he owes “creditors” of ill repute), “Jeff Bozo” and lambast Elizabeth Warren for her ill-conceived “beer” video.
“If Elizabeth Warren, often referred to by me as Pocahontas, did this commercial from Bighorn or Wounded Knee instead of her kitchen, with her husband dressed in full Indian garb, it would have been a smash!”, the actual President of the United States said, before delivering the following misogynistic dog whistle to his base:
Best line in the Elizabeth Warren beer catastrophe is, to her husband, “Thank you for being here. I’m glad you’re here” It’s their house, he’s supposed to be there!
All of that is clearly crazy and it set the stage for a series of Monday remarks delivered to reporters who Trump regaled amid “the beauty and majesty” of the White House and its “snow filled lawns”, as he hilariously put it in another Sunday tweet.
Asked (again) if he is in fact working for Russia, Trump blamed the reporter – as if it’s somehow out of bounds for the media to ask questions about a real FBI investigation of a sitting US president.
Trump also told the story about the “women taped up in vans” again – this is becoming one of his “greatest” hits. Just listen to this insanity (it starts at the ~0:25 mark).
But the “best” part came when Trump announced the menu options on offer for the Clemson Tigers who, against all odds, managed to blowout the Alabama juggernaut in the CFP national championship game. For their trouble, the players will get – and this is a quote – “McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger Kings with some pizza.”
I just can’t, you guys. I just can’t.