Local Septuagenarian Berates ‘Crazy Young People’ On Lawn, Promises To Build 2,000-Mile-Long Invisible Steel Wall To Prevent Gang Invasion

I don’t even know why anyone bothers covering the government shutdown on a minute-by-minute basis anymore.

For one thing, Trump is going to tweet out everything you need to know faster than reporters can pen a sourced story. But more importantly, there isn’t anything left to report. This just is what it is. It’s abundantly clear that the President of the United States is now holding the government hostage and manipulating the electorate with what amount to bloody horror stories in the service of making good on what is easily the most outlandish campaign promise in the history of politics. That is our reality, surreal though it may be.

We posted clips from Trump’s Oval Office speech as it happened in the Live Feed and eschewed dignifying the spectacle with a dedicated post. The bottom line is that he sat in the Oval and regaled America with tales of murder and rape. Here:


Because immigrants are the only people who commit crimes, right? Right. Or at least that’s what Trump wants you to believe and by God, he’s surely convinced large swaths of the electorate that the U.S. is being invaded by murderous Guatemalans hell-bent on mayhem the likes of which nobody has seen since the vikings.

Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer have simply told him he can’t have his wall or his “slat barrier” because, well, because it’s a stupid pipe dream that, as it turns out, wasn’t even a serious idea in the first place.

Well, on Thursday, Trump took another step towards declaring a national emergency in order to get around Congress. Here’s what he told reporters before departing for the border.


The “miracle” of this situation is that Trump is on the verge of manufacturing a constitutional crisis as a “solution” to another crisis he manufactured (the border “crisis”). There’s no point in rolling out the data anymore – it doesn’t matter. There is virtually no statistical evidence that backs up Trump’s “crisis” characterization and as you’re probably aware, a good portion of the available data (whether it’s on border crossings or crime rates for immigrants or whatever else you want to trot out) actually paints the exact opposite picture.

But again, that doesn’t matter. He doesn’t care. And neither does Fox. And neither do his supporters.

Trump went on to parrot his own baseless claim that Democrats “don’t care about crime” (an absurd contention on par, in terms of flawed logic, with claiming that people who drive SUVs don’t care about breathing because if they did, they’d drive a Prius) before proceeding to say that the party has been “taken over by young people who are in some cases crazy.”


That, coming from a septuagenarian donning a white gas station trucker cap on top of a fake blond mullet.

And he wasn’t done. Trump also accused the media of “playing cute” on the way to saying that “80%” of them are involved in a conspiracy.


It got worse – and immeasurably so. Here’s Trump “shushing” someone on the way to saying that Democrats “don’t give a damn about gang members stabbing people and cutting people up.”


Finally, here is the President explaining that he is “a professional at technology”.


Coming full circle, the media might as well just stop asking him questions. Clearly, we’re all just rubbernecking the car crash. America has developed a perverse fascination with watching as a D-list celebrity and textbook narcissist drunk on power descends into paranoid dementia.

That is all.


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26 thoughts on “Local Septuagenarian Berates ‘Crazy Young People’ On Lawn, Promises To Build 2,000-Mile-Long Invisible Steel Wall To Prevent Gang Invasion

  1. Robert Anton Wilson’s ‘Guns and Dope Party’ may have had a more outrageous campaign pledge: to replace one third of Congress with ostriches. (The 4th plank of the party’s official platform is ‘Equal rights for ostriches’). But building a wall the equivalent length of LA to Chicago is a close second.

  2. Guessing we’re headed to 1) a screaming-and-kicking budget “deal” with money for “border security” short of a physical wall, and 2) a declaration of emergency and executive order to build a “physical wall”. 1) satisfies the Democratic legislators and enough of the Republican legislators. 2) allows the President to look strong+decisive (to his political base). Followed by 3) litigation and delay which probably results in no physical wall building, at least not before the next Administration.

    In the meantime, expect much analysis of the cost of a 20′ high, 2,000 mile long steel wall vs a 20′ extension ladder or a battery-power angle grinder. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/immigration/test-steel-prototype-border-wall-showed-it-could-be-sawed-n956856

  3. As a person in favor of the wall I stand by the many experts who assure that a wall is an important part of border security. As Heisenberg cites Kolanovic as an expert I cite the many experts who are far more knowledgeable than myself or Heis on this topic. Once again, and as usual, H is blinded by his hatred of anything Trump. H —- get over it.

    1. Well, I mean, he (Trump) is probably going to prison, which I’m sure you’re gradually coming to terms with. His campaign manager was convicted of what amounts to high treason. His fixer says he’s a criminal. Jim Mattis basically said he’s a threat to global security. John Kelly clearly hates him. Mick Mulvaney, who replaced Kelly, called him “a terrible human being” on video. Rex Tillerson says he’s nuts. His charity was shut down for being a fraud. His “university” was shut down for being a fraud (he lost that lawsuit and had to pay defrauded students millions of dollars for, well, for defrauding them). And in all likelihood, Don Jr. is going to be indicted in the not-so-distant future.

      So I guess it’s one of those things where there’s reality (all of the above) and then there’s fantasy (e.g., that we’re going to build a 2,000-mile see-through steel fence on the border, that we’re going to build a space army, that Donald Trump is actually a good businessman and didn’t inherit his entire fortune, that he doesn’t prove he’s a moron every time he opens his mouth, etc. etc. etc.).

      It’s not that I have “a hatred of Trump”. I don’t care one way or another to be perfectly honest with you. I live on an island and literally nothing Trump will ever do can affect me in any way, shape or form except for his tax cuts, which I benefit from. In fact, he makes me laugh all day, everyday and I’m always disappointed when he doesn’t tweet or say something on camera because it deprives me of the opportunity to mock a dementia-ridden baboon.

      Rather, what’s going on here, is that you are suspending disbelief in a belabored effort to convince yourself that what is staring you in the face (i.e., that Trump is, in fact, a moron, a criminal – and not the fun kind – and likely a traitor) isn’t staring you in the face.

      Good luck with that.

      1. My comment (which you responded to) was in support of border security, not specifically Trump, including additional wall/fence where needed. Where was everyone when Obama, Pelosi and Shumer were strongly in favor of additional physical barriers/security to the tune of 25 Billion?

        1. Where were you when Trump turned down that same $25 Billion for his wall in exchange for DACA protections? But, no he couldn’t take that deal. He had to ask to drastic cuts to legal immigration because that’s what the white nationalists want.

          1. once again my comment refers to securing our Border, not whether Trump is good,bad or crazy. We need additional border security. Look at the issues the European Union now facing.

          2. Once again, “illegal” immigrants don’t typically enter across the Southern border. They fly in through airports and then overstay their visas. It is international law that people are allowed to present themselves for asylum at a port of call (border crossing), which is what people do only for us to arrest them and then separate their kids from them and lose track of them because an overwhelmed immigration system (i.e. need more judges, lawyers, etc.) cannot process them fast enough in a humane manner. Perhaps a more sane way to tackle the issue would be to invest in Latin America so that people don’t decide it’s a better shot to come to America than stay home and die? But, you support to rather build a wall by taking the money from fighting true natural disasters like wildfires, hurricanes, etc He’s just manipulating you with fear. What experts are you referring to? Anyone not on Fox “news”?

    2. How are you blind to the truth of trump? You see him and hear him just like the millions of people do, right? He is certainly a criminal and has always been a criminal — State and Federal crimes — probably for 50 years. Your continued support of this man is simply mind-boggling! I think he will be proven guilty of treason and die in prison. He will be lucky with anything less than that. At some point, you are the one that needs to “get over it”.

    3. Recent hysteria in America regarding border security has become a crisis, which has now made an 80% reduction in the rate of illegal border crossings over the past 20 years a crisis.

  4. Please forgive me for being an amateur psychiatrist but I believe the correct diagnosis is Borderline Personality. Look it up. It may help you put the POTUS’s actions in context.

    1. I’m not a psychiatrist, but do practice in another subsppecialty. While I’m certainly not an expert on personality disorders, his behavior is far more consistent with narcissistic personality disorder.

      Here are the diagnostic criteria for NPD. Trump basically checks all the boxes.

      DSM-5 – DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for the disorder include:

      ●A. A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

      -1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (eg, exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).

      -2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

      -3. Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).

      -4. Requires excessive admiration.

      -5. Has a sense of entitlement (ie, unreasonable expectation of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations).

      -6. Is interpersonally exploitative (ie, takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends).

      -7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

      -8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

      -9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes.

      1. I concur with all those symptoms AND I also see a long list of symptoms of Adult Autism. High functioning autistic children who reach adulthood without diagnosis or maintain a high functioning adult life will still have certain signs of adult autism. Attention Deficit (ADHD) is high on that list – which could explain medication Adderall.
        A short list of other symptoms:
        frequent repetition of words or phrases; monotonous flat speech; difficulty reading; difficulty sleeping; social difficulty and lack of friends; does not like things to be moved out of place; difficulty with coordination (slopes/stairs); repetitive foods; difficulty being still (sways when standing ‘still’); firm routines or patterns; smart in one or two challenging academic subject areas, but has great difficulty doing well in others; understanding figures of speech and turns of phrase (like “The early bird catches the worm” or “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth”) is difficult (only 2 days ago I heard “peachy peasy”, mixed up two phrases together). Multiple significant signs of high functioning adult autism.

  5. I’d guess that the endgame is to keep the WALL fight alive into 2020 campaign. It got him elected and it’s too good a campaign speech to only use once yknow?

  6. What is the term for the disorder that folks have who are ENTRHALLED w/ a guy who shows all the traits of NPD, as shown above? I know many folks clearly feel a strong dislike, or distrust, of all things Hillary, or Pelosi, or even the Dem Party at large, but these same folks also see Trump for the obvious failure, and problem, that his is.

    What do you call those who support someone like him regardless? They’re certainly not ‘conservatives.’

    1. They are called “Evangelical Christians”. I purposely used the scare quotes as they are decidedly not living out their faith as written.

  7. Dear H, is it possible to make a change to the color of the icon for one of the two Anonymous posters – I do note that one is a slightly darker mint green than the other but that is not easily discerned. It would be so much better if I could visually determine the smart one from the other one. Your choice 🙃

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