Listen, we’ve generally thrown in the towel on lampooning Donald Trump’s increasingly unhinged Twitter feed.
This is a President who sits in his bed until – by some accounts – nearly 11 a.m., tweeting out egregious nonsense while watching Fox News and maybe eating egg McMuffins. That’s meant to be a cartoonish characterization, but as you’re probably aware, it might be closer to the truth than any of us care to imagine.
In any event, usually the tweets revolve around obstructing an active FBI investigation, making up nicknames for whoever has irritated him on Capitol Hill, and demanding Jeff Sessions investigate his political rivals. Over the holiday weekend he threw in a little Oprah and some NASCAR just to spice things up.
Well on Thursday morning, he wants to talk about arming teachers so they can have shootouts with rogue students and other would-be school shooters and our recent attempts to restrain ourselves from commenting on his tweets notwithstanding, we just had to jump on this one.
This of course comes on the heels of the town hall-style meeting he had on Wednesday with students. You can read all about that boondoggle by simply Googling it, but suffice to say his idea to turn the nation’s teachers into a heavily-armed gang of vigilantes didn’t get great reviews. Here’s what he said:
At a “listening session” with survivors of school shootings and victims’ families, President Donald Trump said he wants to arm 20% of teachers — he says it’s worked for pilots and airplane safety. 🤔 pic.twitter.com/TiSMls9Ag4
— HuffPost (@HuffPost) February 22, 2018
So that’s one of those ideas that sounds good in theory but is probably absurd for all manner of reasons, not the least of which is that it sets the stage for the SWAT team to end up in shootouts with gun-wielding teachers who could easily be mistaken for the shooter in the heat of the moment.
Additionally, it sets up a scenario where a school shooting turns into a school shootout, before law enforcement even arrives on the scene.
Anyway, Trump took to Twitter on Thursday morning to “explain” his plan as follows:
Got that? Trump never said “give teachers guns.”
What he said was “give adept teachers concealed guns” which is of course the exact same sentence only with two adjectives thrown in there.
The idea, according to Trump, is that these highly-trained teachers would “be able to immediately fire back” at “savage sickos” with “bad intentions.”
It’s not entirely clear what other kinds of intentions “savage sickos” have other than “bad ones” but Trump seems to be suggesting there are other possibilities there.
Also note the reference to the purported cost savings he imagines we can achieve by arming teachers as opposed to hiring guards.
The bottom line here is this: if you want to put guards at schools, fine. Do that.
But giving Ms. Johnson the 8th grade biology teacher a 12 Gauge Mossberg and instructing her to fire at will in the event of a crisis is probably not the best route to go.
Coming soon to a school near you, Naked Gun-style shootouts: