Look, here’s the thing, UCLA freshmen LiAngelo Ball (of Ball family fame), Cody Riley and Jalen Hill had about 90 minutes of “free time” to “explore” Hangzhou and/or relax last week while in China for a tournament.
Unfortunately, they didn’t hear “explore and/or relax.” Rather, they heard “steal sunglasses from a Louis Vuitton store next to the hotel.” So that’s what they did. And then they were arrested.
If you are a foreigner, there are worse places in the world to get arrested than China. For instance, North Korea is a place where you do not want to get caught stealing if you decide to visit.
But there are also better places in the world to get arrested than China. Specifically, stealing things that are valued between $1,050 and $1,510 has the potential to land your sorry ass in a Chinese jail for between two and three years.
Generally speaking, that’s not a particularly palatable proposition and you can believe that throwing a member of the Ball family in a Chinese prison would have morphed into a PR nightmare, irrespective of guilt. They are famous (all of them) and you should be aware of the context. Here’s the Washington Post:
The story also eclipsed the Ball family’s entry into the Chinese market. In concert with the middle son’s expected participation in the game, the family’s shoe and apparel business, Big Baller Brand, opened the first of two pop-up stores in Shanghai on Friday. At the event, LaVar Ball declined to answer questions about the incident, which came after he had canceled a news conference to promote the opening. The father appeared to get himself in hot water last week after telling ESPN he didn’t think the incident was a big deal.
While LiAngelo Ball remains in custody in Hangzhou, his older brother continues to suit up for his NBA team. Speaking to reporters in Phoenix Monday morning ahead of a game against the Suns, Lonzo Ball said in speaking to both his youngest brother, LaMelo, and father over the past few days, that it seems like the situation is moving closer to a resolution.
[…]
Meanwhile, the rest of the family – LaVar Ball, his wife and youngest son – have traveled to Hong Kong, where its second pop-up store is set to open Tuesday. UCLA’s next game is at home Wednesday against the University of Central Arkansas.
If you’re not up on the NBA, suffice to say that LiAngelo Ball’s brother Lonzo (mentioned above) is, like Ron Burgundy, “kind of a big deal.”
So it’s difficult to imagine that this wasn’t going to work itself out on its own, but never one to miss an opportunity to take credit for something, Trump apparently urged Xi to release the players while in China during his 12-day romp through Asia.
Well Trump being Trump, he actually got on Twitter Wednesday once the players had been released and instructed and/or asked (and I’m not sure which one of those is worse in this case) them to thank him.
A couple of things there. First, that is wildly inappropriate under these circumstances. This is an international incident (albeit a trivial one). The important part here is that you got the Americans home, not whether they “thank you” for basically doing your job.
Let me drive the point home. If you’re the President of the United States and three college freshmen are headed for a possible jail sentence in China for stealing sunglasses, you bring their asses home. End of story. It is not a “favor” you have done for the college students. Sure, you expect them to express their gratitude and no, they should not have been stealing sunglasses, but the idea that this was something that Trump didn’t have to do is laughable. Also, he refers to himself in the third person there, just for a little extra dose of absurdity.
Under pressure from Trump’s Twitter account, the players held a press conference on Wednesday, where they did indeed thank the President.
“I take full responsibility for the mistake I have made of shoplifting,” Riley said. “I know this goes beyond me letting my school down – I’ve let the entire country down.”
“To President Trump and the entire United States government, thank you for taking the time to intervene on our behalf,” he added.
Trump “graciously” accepted their thanks, but it wasn’t quite what he was looking for, so he got back on Twitter Thursday to tell them what they need to do next:
So there’s Trump instructing the players to thank a dictator; because look, Xi is a dictator, ok? Let’s not pretend that just because there are lots of good things you can say about China (and also about Xi) that he isn’t what he is. To demand that these players thank a dictator for not throwing them in jail for a decade for stealing sunglasses is silly.
And on top of that, Trump is giving life lessons and waxing poetic about “long and winding roads.”
The ultimate irony here is that if you want to talk about stealing and college students in the same sentence, let’s not forget that Donald Trump ran a fake university through which he pilfered millions from thousands of unwitting “students” who ended up suing his ass and ultimately winning a judgement worth $25 million which was paid out just months ago.
I wonder what the standard jail sentence is in China for running a fraudulent college and using it to steal millions from 6,000 people. I’d be willing to bet the punishment is a lot harsher than what typically goes along with boosting Louis shades.
H – thank you!! You hit every bell I wanted to ring and you did it perfectly! My rant was filled with expletives towards the students and towards assface! haha!
Who demands a thank you? an apology, yes…but not a thank you! only assface. And to tell them to thank the dictator. omg. The apologies they read without any emotion, even faked emotion, were certainly not their own compositions. The entire episode beginning with the stealing of sunglasses so they could look cool was horrible. Trump’s comments including his advice about life was laughable and thank you for connecting it to his fake university, not to mention his entire life of stealing/cheating others! Sanctimonious bastard.
The only disappointment I have after the dust settled is their suspension for an undetermined (unannounced) period of time. They should have been permanently removed from the team.
This episode just proves again that Trump is Hitler, and that he colluded with the Russians to steal the election. It also reinforces the point that he accuses others of fake news, when he himself is the master.
See, now just watch. I’ll bet we don’t see any kudos here to DT for his yuge tax plan win in Congress today. Pretty clear that was a done deal as of yesterday given the patently obvious front running that took place in the final minutes yesterday and overnight – even I couldn’t resist partaking it was such a shoe-in as to TAPR and the Q’s and almost anything in between. If you’re wondering, just pull up a 2 minute chart from yesterday and look at the yuge up volumes in the final 6-8 minutes of trading.
Profits taken off the table immediately in a deferred account of course. I’m guessing that little clown show made the Team a cool mid-nine figures today. My guess is the Team’s trading plan for the next week or so is to create another brouhaha of some kind, get everyone off-sides again assuming no tax bill, and then bring it in for an unexpected win.
As to the UCLA students, I can attest I’ve met few UCLA grads who were not criminals at heart, if not in deed – so I’m sure DT bonded with them – virtually.