Score one for “The Mooch.”
A day after we learned what new communication director, financier, and man who is really fucking angry at Ryan Lizza, Anthony Scaramucci, really thinks about Reince Priebus, Trump’s White House Chief of Staff is now Trump’s former White House Chief of Staff.
Here’s Trump making the announcement the only way he knows how – on Twitter:
I am pleased to inform you that I have just named General/Secretary John F Kelly as White House Chief of Staff. He is a Great American….
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 28, 2017
…and a Great Leader. John has also done a spectacular job at Homeland Security. He has been a true star of my Administration
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 28, 2017
As for that “fucking paranoid schizophrenic” Priebus, Trump wants you to know that they “accomplished a lot together” – where “a lot” means “absolutely nothing”:
I would like to thank Reince Priebus for his service and dedication to his country. We accomplished a lot together and I am proud of him!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 28, 2017
Initially, everyone thought Priebus was fired, but moments ago, we learn that apparently he resigned according to, well, according to him.
- Reince Priebus Says He Resigned Yesterday as Chief of Staff
So another one bites the proverbial dust, but like Sean Spicer before him, Priebus can take comfort in the fact that Trump is super “proud of him.”
Or, summed up…
well all in all , i'd say this was a great week for the Trump administration. pic.twitter.com/s7nIx74J6u
— Heisenberg Report (@heisenbergrpt) July 28, 2017
Oh, and we would suggest that Steve Bannon prepare for that “gun fight” he’s been a’ hankerin’ for since April…
https://twitter.com/juliaswriter/status/891040704356593668
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All the resignations will make room for Martin Shkreli to join the team, although that may require a Presidential pardon. Although Martin’s background is in Health and Human Services, he’d probably be more useful as the next Attorney General.
https://twitter.com/heisenbergrpt/status/891048225003712513
Dear Pretty Diary,
What a day, what a day!!
Today I fired White House Chief of Staff, Rice Pubis, that fucking paranoid schizophrenic and paranoiac, or maybe he resigned, or maybe I repealed him and he replaced him, like those dumb bastards failed to repeal and replace Obamauncare, and then….
Today I elevated a former Four Star Marine Corp General and my former Cabinet Member, Secretary of Homeland Security, John F. Kelly, to be my Chief of Staff.
I’m so excited about Kelly I can hardly contain myself!! I’ve never directly hired anyone that tall and good looking, with such bigly creds, who will work for ME, ME, ME, and who will work right near ME ME ME down the hall. I’m giddy about the prospects. This is huge. Going to be big!!
So much fun!!
FIRST, I’LL HAVE SO MUCH FUN TOYING WITH HIM.
SECOND, EMBARRASSING HIM.
THIRD, ATTACKING HIM.
FOURTH, DECIDING WHETHER TO FIRE HIM, REPEAL AND RELACE HIM or HAVE HIM RESIGN!!
Oh yes, yes, yes, I am a drama Queen, and much bigger and prettier
than Peggy Noonan will ever know!!
Oh so, I’m so so, Beautiful!!
I’m, Donnie Boy.
Oh No Marty! You have now gone over the edge! I am ordering a new jacket for you — what size? Sleeve length? I will double that length as these will wrap around and buckle in the back. A nice clean shade of white – will look great on you!
HAHAHAHA! That composition was really great! Big laughs! Good job! I also have to say that I really enjoyed Noonan’s composition also! Sounded like she reached a ‘belly full’ and just let it fly! One of her best!
‘Donnie Boy’ is truly evil — and I do not believe that ‘Rice Pubis’ had resigned and was in fact caught off guard and fired when he deplaned today. And Donnie tweeting while Rice was still on that plane — pure evil. It is sick how much pleasure Donnie gets by humiliating a guy! What did the news guys call it — gangster style! And that trashy Scaramucci’s rant and disgusting comments were so enjoyed by Donnie Boy, the sewage in the cesspool has tarnished the Office of the President so badly it will take years to restore!
I almost feel bad for what is headed towards Gen. John Kelly, Donnie’s newest BFF.
Thanks for the laugh!
– Murphy