Trump: We Need See-Through Border Wall So ‘Cray’ Mexicans Don’t Hit Agents With ’60-Pound Sacks Of Drugs’

Now, look: Donald Trump’s border wall was an absurd proposition from the start.

We all know that.

But the thing you have to understand about Trump’s wall is that, much like his other outlandish campaign promises, he probably didn’t think he was ever going to have to try and make it a reality.

It’s like when you’re sitting at home drunk and you say something off the cuff to your significant other like: “You know what I’m going to do, baby? I’m going to build a Starbucks in the garage.”

Your companion knows you’re not ever going to have the capacity to do that, and even if you somehow stumbled into a situation where you had the means to install a Starbucks franchise where the family SUV used to go, you probably wouldn’t do it.

Well, Donald Trump is you and the garage-Bucks is a border wall with Mexico and your significant other is “dumb ass voters.” And by virtue of being dumb, they actually expect you to build that Starbucks now that, as President, there’s an outside chance you can do it.

And so Trump has kinda been backed into making this thing a reality, which is terrible for the country (and humanity in general), but great for folks like us who thrive off lampooning the patently absurd.

When last we checked in on Trump and his wall, he was busy explaining how he had decided to build it out of solar panels. His rationale was simple, but not in that kind of way where simple means “elegant.” Here’s the President to explain:

We’re talking about the southern border, lots of sun, lots of heat.

There you go.

That came just a few months after some contract notices showed up on a government website run by Customs and Border Protection (an agency of the Homeland Security Department).

The notices outlined what the Trump administration is looking for when it comes to the proposed wall. Here’s what the notices said:

One of the CBP contract requests calls for a solid concrete wall, while the other asks for proposals for a see-through structure. Both require the wall to sunk at least six feet into the ground and include 25- and 50-foot automated gates for pedestrians and vehicles. The proposed wall must also be built in a such a way that it would take at least an hour to cut through it with a “sledgehammer, car jack, pick axe, chisel, battery operated impact tools, battery operated cutting tools, Oxy/acetylene torch or other similar hand-held tools.”

The government will award a contract based on 30-foot-wide sample walls that are to be built in San Diego.

Hopefully, you don’t need to be told why that is fall-in-the-floor funny, but just in case, you can read our post on it here.

Well just in case you thought this couldn’t possibly get any more ridiculous (and, by extension, any more funny), do consider what Trump told reporters aboard Air Force One on his way to France on Wednesday:

Question: You were joking about solar, right?

Trump: No, not joking, no. There is a chance that we can do a solar wall. We have major companies looking at that. Look, there’s no better place for solar than the Mexico border — the southern border. And there is a very good chance we can do a solar wall, which would actually look good. But there is a very good chance we could do a solar wall.

One of the things with the wall is you need transparency. You have to be able to see through it. In other words, if you can’t see through that wall — so it could be a steel wall with openings, but you have to have openings because you have to see what’s on the other side of the wall.

And I’ll give you an example. As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them — they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over.

As cray as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall. But we have some incredible designs.

Now for one thing, that is from the official transcript.

Which means either Donald Trump actually used the pop culture term “cray” or they mistyped it – either way, it’s hilarious.

But just read that again. The President of the United States said he’s going to build a see-through border wall and the reason you “have to see what’s on the other side” is because Mexicans could be “throw[ing] large sacks of drugs over” it and if you can’t see them, “they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff.”

And if that happens, “it’s over.”

Yes, it most certainly is.




5 thoughts on “Trump: We Need See-Through Border Wall So ‘Cray’ Mexicans Don’t Hit Agents With ’60-Pound Sacks Of Drugs’

  1. “Cray , dude it’s like getting hit in the head with 60 lbs of sh*t and it is epic dude”. Our “dumb” sh*t in chief is really, really NUTS. A straight jacket should take care of this particular situation with a beautiful stay in a treatment center in MEXICO. Yea, that’s the ticket.

  2. Mr. Destructo, is also known as President Distraction-in-Chief. I’m definitely persuaded his job is to come out at least 5 days a week with crazy, whacked out, off the wall statements that exhaust 24-72 hour news cycles while others are causing as much damage as they can to the normal status quo of the country. His minions time his distractions. If he’s talking about see through border walls, it’s a high sign to check the progress of the health care bill, his phone records with Putin, and all wire transfers to every one of his bank accounts from Russia and thereabouts.

  3. Again, a solar wall would require the solar panels to be located on the southern exposure of the wall to get sunlight. Yes, Donald that would be the /Mexican side. How long does anyone think the solar panels would stay on the wall – and or be functional? Solar panels by their material nature are relative fragile and projectiles (paint balls, rocks, Molotov cocktails, bullets, etc.) also don’t play well together. Then there’s the matter of sending US maintenance crews (with armed escorts) to the Mexican side of the wall for routine cleaning of the a panel surfaces – in windy desert areas with lots of dust – that’s every couple of weeks. Clearly, Trump once again sought no qualified help with regard to reviewing his “ideas” before making them public and proposing to implement them.

    All of you Trump fans – this is the mental power and creative problem solving ability limits of the man you elected to run an entire nation. A man who doesn’t think he needs qualified help to assist in running that nation. Clearly you Trump voters didn’t consider that a wealthy and privileged upbringing and then being able to afford the best business managers (and lawyers) to manage and multiply your inherited fortune – covers a lot of mental weakness and mistakes/sins of said heir.

    He’s your dumb ass – you figure out how to get him out of the way before he completely destroys the country. Worse he’s starting to make some Republicans state publicly that we would have been better off with “crooked” Hillary. Personally and for a change, I would just like one honest candidate with superior qualifications and appropriate related experience to vote for – regardless of the party.

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