Trump Releases Guidelines For Mexico Border Wall – Hilarity Ensues

Trump Releases Guidelines For Mexico Border Wall – Hilarity Ensues

Meanwhile, from the “full-retard” files…

The Trump Administration thinks it’s high time we get started on walling ourselves off from important trade partners (you know, to keep out the “rapists” and all the Oxy that’s definitely not made in Mexico).

To that end, Customs and Border Protection (an agency of the Homeland Security Department) has posted some contract notices on a government website detailing exactly what the administration has in mind. Here’s WaPo:

The notices were made public late Friday by Customs and Border Protection, the Homeland Security Department agency that will oversee the project and eventually patrol and maintain the wall. The proposals are due to the government by March 29.

One of the CBP contract requests calls for a solid concrete wall, while the other asks for proposals for a see-through structure. Both require the wall to sunk at least six feet into the ground and include 25- and 50-foot automated gates for pedestrians and vehicles. The proposed wall must also be built in a such a way that it would take at least an hour to cut through it with a “sledgehammer, car jack, pick axe, chisel, battery operated impact tools, battery operated cutting tools, Oxy/acetylene torch or other similar hand-held tools.”

The government will award a contract based on 30-foot-wide sample walls that are to be built in San Diego.

Now obviously, this whole idea was absurd from the word go, but in true Trump fashion, this takes the stupidity up a notch – one might even venture to call this “bigly” stupid.

First of all, just try and imagine the thought process that went into this. I mean what was the question that led to the “would take at least an hour to cut through” bit? Is that based on some assessment of available data on the average time it takes Mexican bandits to cut through concrete walls?

Also, this seems to suggest that the administration thinks Mexicans’ solution to the construction of a border wall will be to form chain gangs equipped with sledgehammers, car jacks, pick axes, chisels, battery operated impact tools, battery operated cutting tools, Oxy/acetylene torches [and] other similar hand-held tools (maybe trowels? screwdrivers?). Is that realistic? I mean what the f*ck are they going to do with all that equipment once they cut through the wall? Take it with them to America? (“What are you guys doing with those pick axes, chisels and Oxy/acetylene torches?” “Nothing.”) Leave it at the scene of the wall crime? Or will there be trucks there to take it back to Mexico where it will be loaned out to the next group of would-be wall cutters?

And then there’s the “sample walls.” So we’re going to have people building portions of trial walls in San Diego? Then what? Are you going to go hire some Mexicans, arm them with Oxy/acetylene torches and then time them to see how long it takes to cut through the prop walls?

If the Trump administration wants to understand exactly why this will never work, all they need to do is consult the great Katt Williams (time stamp 3:28)…

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