Attorney General and aging, senile Hobbit Jeff Sessions is a man who is really surprised you knew about that meeting with the Russian Ambassador…
On Tuesday, Sessions talked to lawmakers about colluding with the Kremlin to sway the US election in Donald Trump’s favor. He was not, as we discussed in great detail yesterday afternoon, very forthcoming.
As you’re probably aware, Sessions has a rather “checkered” past.
Because we don’t want to risk diluting the punchline, we’ll spare you the whole backstory, but suffice to say Jeff is a known bigot. As in: Jeff is a notorious racist.
You’ll recall that Sessions was confirmed as Attorney General earlier this year much to the chagrin of folks like Elizabeth Warren, who in February was basically told to “shut the fuck up” when she tried to read a letter penned by Coretta Scott King (who in 1986 accused Sessions of “using the awesome powers of his office in a shabby attempt to intimidate and frighten elderly black voters”) on the Senate floor.
In short, Jeff hasn’t had the best year, despite being elevated to an office he has absolutely no business occupying.
Things got worse for Jeff in April when, in a bungled attempt to express his incredulity at the judiciary’s unwillingness to let Trump get away with an unconstitutional travel ban, Sessions seemed to suggest that he didn’t know Hawaii is a state. One Senator was kind enough to remind him:
Well anyway, given that Sessions is likely to face even more scrutiny going forward with regard to what roll he played in Moscow’s efforts to meddle in the election, we thought this was as good a time as any to present the following brief story about the time Ronald Reagan nominated Sessions for federal judge.
Note that this is only a short excerpt from a much longer piece which you’re (strongly) encouraged to review.
In 1986, President Ronald Reagan nominated Sessions for federal judge. Senators grilled Sessions over charges of racial insensitivity and prejudice, and heard testimony from 21 witnesses over 19 hours.
Sessions was rejected, based on his comments on race and his role in prosecuting a voter fraud case against black civil rights activists in Alabama. The key testimony came from former assistant U.S. attorney Thomas Figures, the only black assistant U.S. attorney in Alabama at the time. (He died in January 2015.)
We took a look at the comments that were attributed to Sessions (marked in bold), and what he said about them in response.
“Mr. Figures specifically advised us that Mr. Sessions had referred to him as ‘boy’ during the period that Mr. Figures served as an Assistant U.S. Attorney.” — John Crump, executive director of National Bar Association, referring to the organization’s interview with Figures about Sessions.
Sessions rejected this allegation:
“I was also flabbergasted to hear Mr. Figures say that he was regularly called ‘boy’ in my office. He said I called him this, twice. I state categorically that I have never called Mr. Figures ‘boy.’ … ‘Boy’ is a reprehensible term to use to describe a black man in the South. Because of the history of that term, I have never used the word ‘boy’ to describe a black, nor would I tolerate it in my office.”
So Jeff Sessions, when asked about allegations that he referred to an Assistant U.S. Attorney as “boy,” actually defended himself by assuring everyone that he would never refer to “a black” that way.
Let that sink in. He literally said “boy” is a “reprehensible” way to describe “a black.”
That’s like saying: “slant-eyed bastard” is a reprehensible way to describe “a chink,” and I would never tolerate it in my office.
That’s how deeply ingrained Jeff’s racist tendencies are – he doesn’t even understand how patently absurd that is.
That’s your Attorney General, ladies and gentlemen.
Big h/t to Chloe Newsom for the tip on this one: