In Islam Speech, Trump Fights ‘Barbaric Criminals’ In Epic ‘Battle Of Good Vs. Evil’

Donald Trump talked in Saudi Arabia about Islamic extremists today, which is funny for all kinds of reasons.

But – and I probably don’t need to tell you this – the two funniest things about this speech are undoubtedly:

Donald Trump giving a speech about Islam after promising to ban all Muslims from America
Donald Trump, who promised to ban all Muslims from America, giving a speech about confronting Sunni extremism in a country that is without question the world’s foremost sponsor and financier of Sunni extremism

I always wonder what Iranians think when people like Saudi Minister of Foreign Affairs Al-Jubeir get on the mic and calmly explain how Hezbollah is the most dangerous terrorist organization in the world and how the Shiites are who we all really need to be worried about.

That was Al-Jubeir’s straight-faced response to a question from a reporter on Saturday about how the outcome of the election in Iran (which saw incumbent Hassan Rouhani win another term in a landslide) would affect relations between Riyadh and Tehran. Al-Jubeir, standing next to Rex Tillerson, explained that “deeds” are what’s important, not “words.”

Right. Which certainly leads one to ask the following “small-ish” question: why is it that ISIS, al-Qaeda, the Taliban and every other extremist organization whose name every redneck in Middle America knows espouses the ideology and interpretation of Islam that’s literally state policy in Saudi Arabia?

Anyway, back to Trump. Here are the “highlights” (if you want to call them that) from this patently ridiculous spectacle:

TRUMP TO SAY WAR ON TERROR IS `BATTLE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL’
TRUMP: WAR ON TERROR NOT BATTLE BETWEEN DIFFERENT FAITHS
TRUMP: WAR ON TERROR IS FIGHT AGAINST `BARBARIC CRIMINALS’
TRUMP: MIDEAST NATIONS CAN’T WAIT FOR U.S. HELP TO CRUSH TERROR
TRUMP: MIDEAST MUST DECIDE FUTURE FOR ITSELF
TRUMP TO SAY PARTNERSHIP TO ADVANCE SECURITY VIA STABILITY
TRUMP: U.S. IS PREPARED TO `STAND WITH’ MIDEAST ALLIES
TRUMP: PATH TO PEACE BEGINS FROM `THIS SACRED LAND’
TRUMP: U.S. HERE TO OFFER PARTNERSHIP BASED ON SHARED VALUES

TRUMP SAYS DEADLIEST TERROR TOLL INFLICTED ON ARAB WORLD
TRUMP SAYS SUBMIT TO MARK BEGINNING OF END OF TERRORISM
TRUMP: SIGNED DEAL TO INVEST ABOUT $400B IN U.S., SAUDI

Oh, and here’s what he didn’t say: