Presenting The Hilarious “DOs & DONTs” List From Saturday’s “Free Speech Rally”

Right, so on Saturday, a conservative group held a “free speech rally” in Boston.

Here’s a quick summary from The Boston Globe:

“A conservative group’s free speech rally on Boston Common Saturday triggered a counter-protest by a progressive anti-fascist group, with hundreds of screaming supporters separated by a line of police officers.

Boston Free Speech supporters promoted the afternoon rally as a gathering where “Libertarians, conservatives, traditionalists, classical liberals, or anyone else who supports Trump or just hates leftists are encouraged to attend,” according to an online posting.

Yes, “according to an online posting.”

I decided to have a look at that “online posting” and predictably, it is fucking hilarious. 

Have a look:

Now there are a whole lot of notables (and quotables) in there, but perhaps the best is this one, listed under the “DOs and DONTs” section:

DO NOT: Come to this event if you’re a skinhead or plan to act like one. If you are a skinhead, dress like a normie, but assist during skirmishes.

Right. “DO NOT: come to this event if you’re a skinhead or plan to act like one.”

While I generally don’t care for skinheads, I have to say that if you’re a skinhead and you’re getting mixed messages from the post shown above, you’ll be forgiven. After all, there’s a cutout of Hitler in the bottom right-hand corner (who moves when you scroll no less). So you know, if I’m a skinhead, I’m thinking: “How are you going to tell me I’m not welcome when Adolf is down there saying something different? I mean after all, isn’t he the ultimate authority here?”

The rest of the “DOs and DONTs” are (almost) equally entertaining (particularly funny bits are bolded)…

Theres the list of recommended self-defense items:

…strong flags and sign poles, mace, helmets, shin guards, goggles, respirators, and other body armor.

Instructions on how to “make a patriotic shield” and a recommendation to bring a second shield so you can help “form [shield] squads”:

Make a Shield with a patriotic symbol on it (US Flag, Gadsden, etc). Make more than one shield to share and form squads. Make signs and (removably) attach them to your sticks/shields.

Then there’s this:

DO: Get a battle buddy!

And of course this:

Bring water and food to share to make friends.

Here’s a fun poster:

Finally, just to give you an idea of what kind of people showed up, here’s a clip of some “patriots” in MAGA hats beating in a new member…

https://twitter.com/JackSmithIV/status/863434782142812166

A regular “meeting of the minds” it was.