Ok, so according to Donald Trump (who spoke to CNBC anchor-turned Fox News reporter Maria Bartiromo), the question on everyone’s mind is: “when exactly did you tell President Xi Jinping that you conducted airstrikes on Syria?”
Well, “because [Fox] has treated [him] so good for so long,” Trump decided to tell Bartiromo the story.
Apparently, Trump gave the order to launch 59 Tomahawk missiles just as the “most beautiful piece of chocolate cake you’ve ever seen” was arriving at the table. It was, according to Trump’s estimates, about yea bigly…
“President Xi,” Trump explains, “was really enjoying it.”
It was at exactly that point that “the Generals” told Trump “the ships were locked and loaded.”
Now to be sure, Xi was probably going to be shocked anyway to learn that Trump had just made a mid-chocolate-cake-bite decision to bomb another country, but I’d imagine the real surprise came when Trump informed the Chinese President that the target was in fact “Iraq”. Listen below: