Russian Propaganda Outlet Seeks White House Press Pass To Provide “Alternative Facts”

"Did I bury the money!?!? No way!! There are two things I've never done - beat a woman and bury my money in the backyard. You know, I don't even have a shovel..."

Does anyone remember the Saturday Night Live Cold Open from 1997 with Tim Meadows as O.J. Simpson? No? That's ok, you can watch it here. Long story short, O.J. (Meadows) is giving an impromptu press conference from his driveway after burying all his money in the backyard (so he doesn't have to turn it over to victims). Reporters quiz him. Here's the exchange: O.J. Simpson: Thank you. Thank you all for coming. I'd like to comment on the 8.5 million dollar judgment against me. I will gladly pay this fine, but there is no money. I am flat broke. You know, if you haven't talked to my lawyers, they have all the money. You know what I say when I see my lawyers? "Show me the money! Show me the money!" [ O.J. chuckles. The reporters can't seem to break the awkwardness. ] Reporter #1: Mr. Simpson, you were seen earlier emptying out your bank accounts. O.J. Simpson: Now see, that's not true! I was here all day. I was taking a nap. No, no -- I was chipping golf balls. No, no -- I was packing! No, no -- me and Kato went to McDonald's. No, no -- it was Arby's! No, no -- it was McDonald's -- I'm going to say McDonald's! Reporter #2: Mr. Simpson, did you just bury all your money in the bac
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