Why I Fully Support Trump’s Border Wall

Rest easy America.

The days when undocumented Mexican immigrants had the government’s implicit ok to rape and plunder with impunity are over.

It’s not entirely clear why Washington has heretofore tacitly sanctioned the ransacking of our homes and the murdering of our relatives by legions of illegals (who had the audacity to cost Trump the popular vote by casting illegal ballots by the millions), but it doesn’t matter now because our new President is going to wall us all in. Literally.

From Bloomberg:

  • President Trump signs directive on building wall along U.S.-Mexican border.
  • Trump also signs measure cracking down on “sanctuary cities”
  • First order on building wall also aims to:
    • End “catch-and-release” tactics; stop Central American border crisis; increase Customs and Border Protection staff by 5k; stop asylum fraud; publicly detail U.S. aid being given to Mexico; prioritize border prosecutions; collect and publish monthly statistics on border data
  • Second directive on sanctuary cities also seeks to aggressively pursue interior enforcement; identify criminal illegal immigrants

And from Reuters:

  • President Donald Trump on Wednesday signed directives to build a wall along the U.S. border with Mexico and crack down on U.S. cities that shield illegal immigrants, proceeding quickly on sweeping and divisive plans to curb immigration and boost national security.
  • The Republican president is also expected to take steps in the coming days to limit legal immigration, including executive orders restricting refugees and blocking the issuing of visas to people from several Muslim-majority Middle Eastern and North African countries including Syria, Sudan, Somalia, Iraq, Iran, Libya and Yemen.

I’ve gotten a lot of mail lately regarding my perceived aversion to Donald Trump’s agenda and while I initially brushed off the criticism, I had an epiphany last night.

Yes indeed, I had a “come to Jesus” moment and as of Wednesday afternoon I fully support this “big, beautiful” wall. Let me tell you why.

When you really sit down and think about it, Americans should have built a wall a long time ago.  But not necessarily on the southern border.

America should have started by building a wall along the Eastern seaboard.

As you may or may not know, illegal immigrants have been flooding into this great country of ours for a very long time. This was a problem way before Trump.

Once I found that out, I did some research and it turns out the new President’s  characterization of Mexican immigrants applies equally to the illegals of yesteryear. America let them in and guess what they did?  They raped and they spread disease. The bastards even spread disease on purpose!

But that’s not all.

Do you know what else they did? They pretended to be our friends and then, when we weren’t looking, they stole our land and built illegal settlements on it! Of course we’re a forgiving people, so we tried to look past that rather egregious incursion.

And our benevolence didn’t stop there.

One time, the illegals damn near starved/froze to death because they underestimated the severity of our winters and wouldn’t you know it, they were too damn stupid to store up enough food to last until spring. So do you know what we did? We gave them some of our food and we saved their f*cking lives, that’s what we did.

Now you’d think that after that, they’d show some respect for us. But they didn’t. Instead they took more land, built more settlements, and when we tried to stop them, they shot us.

We tried shooting back, but that didn’t work out very well because we were firing arrows and they had gunpowder.

These type of injustices continued for decades and eventually we packed up all our sh*t and moved far enough west to get away from these heathens. Or so we thought.

The next thing you know, they’re moving west too (some sh*t about “manifest destiny” and gold).

By the time it was all over, we were relegated to what they called “reservations” where we were forced to eke out a living selling trinkets in order to afford a pint of cheap liquor.

Oh, and I forgot to mention they named a holiday after that time we saved their lives – the smart-asses.

So please (PLEASE), Mr. Trump: build that wall before all of this happens again.








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5 thoughts on “Why I Fully Support Trump’s Border Wall

  1. “forced to eke out a living selling trinkets in order to afford a pint of cheap liquor”, egad, let it not come to that. The poor starving and all of that is what goes around, but no good scotch? Where is your decency?

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