Ibrahim Zolfaghari was back at it Monday.
If America strikes Iran’s civilian infrastructure, “subsequent phases” of the IRGC’s retaliatory attacks with be “more crushing and extensive,” he declared.
Officially, Zolfaghari’s a spokesperson for Khatam-al Anbiya Central Headquarters, which coordinates activities between Iran’s “regular” army and the IRGC. But he’s best described as an amalgamation of Hua Chunying, Ri Chun-hee and Muhammad Saeed Al-Sahhaf.
In other words, Zolfaghari — a thirty- or forty-something military officer of middling rank — is a combination of China’s most outspoken “wolf warrior,” North Korea’s infamous “pink lady” and Baghdad Bob.
Two of those people are standing geopolitical jokes — memes. The other one’s Hua Chunying. So, if you’re wondering how seriously to take Zolfaghari’s near-daily “briefings,” there’s your answer: About one-third serious. The same applies to Trump’s social media posts.
That’s pretty dicey. Maybe the mathematicians among you can run the numbers. What does it mean for the future of humanity when a couple of guys who are each 1/3 serious threaten to visit armageddon on each other an average of one time per day, six days per week?
With the clock ticking on Trump’s “Hell” deadline, Egypt, Pakistan and Turkey on Monday pushed for a 45-day ceasefire. That’s probably something both Trump and Tehran would like to agree. But neither will unless the other does first.
A government spokesman (thankfully not Zolfaghari) confirmed that Iran’s “exchanging messages” about a possible interim truce, but said peace talks “aren’t compatible with ultimatums and threats of war crimes.”
For his part, Trump’s still riding the sugar high from Saturday’s DEVGRU mission, which found the IRGC on the wrong end of another Pippen-over-Ewing moment for the world’s most famous commandos. “If they don’t make a deal, and fast, I’m considering blowing everything up and taking over the oil,” he told Fox.
Meanwhile, Israel struck a second Iranian petrochemical factory in three days on the (not implausible) excuse that the sites are revenue generators for the military.
That logic’s perilous in Iran for one simple reason: More or less everything’s connected to the military, so if everything military-related’s a legitimate target, then everything’s fair game. That’s certainly the way the IDF sees it, although they wouldn’t put it quite that way.
On the home front, four people were killed in Haifa yesterday, when an Iranian missile slammed into a residential building in the port city. True to form, Israel got it back in blood — times 10. 40 people were killed in Israeli airstrikes on Lebanon Sunday.
How significant are the deaths of Asghar Bagheri and Majid Khademi? I have never heard of them but that isn’t saying much.
Trump 1/3rd serious, 2/3rds nuts.
S of H are now a toll road. Still have to bicker over who collects.
Interesting quote from MTG.
“Everyone in his administration that claims to be a Christian needs to fall on their knees and beg forgiveness from God and stop worshipping the President and intervene in Trump’s madness. I know all of you and him and he has gone insane, and all of you are complicit.”
Hmm, I wonder what reaction she is getting?
What I am having difficulty understanding is that a reason for continuing the war in Iran is because they ( the IRGC) kill people in Iran for only protesting in the street. Isn’t this what ICE did in the Twin cities? Sorry. I’m a little slow. Or am I?
I’m consciously sparing with compliments here because you get enough sunshine blown up your ass as it is, but this line had me grinning from ear-to-ear. You’ve penned one hell of an amalgamation.
Ri Chun-hee is North Korea’s one and only national treasure. That woman is an absolute delight. And I bet she would serve you your own parents cooked into a seven bean chili. She’s like a pink feminine Korean version of Giancarlo Esposito.
And while I didn’t actually know his real name, I’m proud of myself for guessing that Al-Sahhaf had to be Baghdad Bob. My favorite line from him, as the invasion was closing in on Baghdad, was when he declared of American soldiers, “They will be carrying their coffins on their back.” That threat, empty though it may have been, was baller as hell.
(I’m young enough–just barely–to use “baller” unironically folks, don’t @ me.)
Make China and Russia Great Again