I was in a red state Costco when Donald Trump became a convicted felon on Thursday evening.
You probably can’t picture me in a Costco, let alone in a red state Costco. I can’t either, really, even after being there. But there I most assuredly was. Buying steaks which, as it turned out, were quite good.
I stuck out in an eccentric Jun Takahashi hoodie, plaid-lined Amiri five pockets (half off at Saks right now, by the way, if you’re in the market) and some blindingly white Pumas. An alien in a sea of star-spangled novelty tops and Wranglers. There were three Trump tees (that I noticed), one of which was the Fulton County mugshot.
I felt genuinely sorry for a lot of the people I saw in that Costco. After I left, I tried to imagine what it’d be like to process the world using the mental operating system most of that crowd runs. It left me with the same sense of existential dread I feel when I try to conceptualize of death.
Trump exploits such people, preying on their fears, paranoia, prejudices, economic plight and gullibility, purely — nakedly — for his own gain. He sells them hats, t-shirts, NFTs, high-tops, bibles, dreams, quick fixes and, of course, bald-face lies, all in the service of the tawdry vanity project that is his life. That’s a kind of theft. It’s also a kind of psychological terrorism.
New readers often wonder what it is about Trump that irks me. Most assume I’m concerned about American democracy. Or the dissolution of the union. Or a civil war. Or further fraying of the social fabric.
I do worry about those things, but my disdain for Trump stems primarily from the cynical, shameless exploitation of people who don’t know any better. I’ve sold a lot of things, not all of them wholesome. One thing I’ve never sold is a lie. I’ve exploited plenty of people. But never anyone who didn’t know better. And I’ve never stolen anything in my life.
According to his campaign, small-donors — so, people who need their money — gave Trump nearly $35 million over just six hours on Thursday evening following the guilty verdict. In a statement, the campaign said Trump was “immensely grateful from [the] outpouring of support from patriots across our country.”
Critics often call Trump a hustler. Trump’s no hustler. Trump’s a con artist. There’s pride in a real hustle. There’s only ignominy in a con.
Do not be distracted, this is not over. The parade of establishment figures who hope to profit from the con including Pence, Johnson et al were out in force smearing the legal system. Heritage 2025 plan is on the shelf.
I just read Robert De Niro was seemingly retaliated against. Seems like a bad omen for our future.
Hey at least all of us get the title this time…I think. My general disdain for the man is similar to yours. I am bothered by his impact on people (all people – and the subsequent reaction on how people respond to those with a different opinion). That our elections seem to be a rat race where the 2nd worst choice is the best is where we are failing to set a proper example for what a functioning democracy is supposed to look like. My friends from all points of the globe look at us and basically ask WTF?
Lizards, not rats. Douglas Adams had it figured out 40 years ago.
Speaking of a malfunction alien robot that has just landed in London and declared, “Take me to your lizard!” the following conversation ensues:
It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see…”
“You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?”
“No,” said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, “nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people.”
“Odd,” said Arthur, “I thought you said it was a democracy.”
“I did,” said Ford. “It is.”
“So,” said Arthur, hoping he wasn’t sounding ridiculously obtuse, “why don’t people get rid of the lizards?”
“It honestly doesn’t occur to them,” said Ford. “They’ve all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.”
“You mean they actually vote for the lizards?”
“Oh yes,” said Ford with a shrug, “of course.”
“But,” said Arthur, going for the big one again, “why?”
“Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard,” said Ford, “the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?”
“What?”
“I said,” said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, “have you got any gin?”
“I’ll look. Tell me about the lizards.”
Ford shrugged again.
“Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happenned to them,” he said. “They’re completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone’s got to say it.”
“But that’s terrible,” said Arthur.
“Listen, bud,” said Ford, “if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say ‘That’s terrible’ I wouldn’t be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin.
Thank you, sir, for that very nice except. I’ve always found it disappointing that by and large American writers can’t produce decent satire like the English. Occasionally, Americans do produce some decent Si-Fi, but little quality satire.
+1 – Lizards would have made the initial comment infinitely better, though then we would have not been thoroughly entertained by the Adams excerpt.
I see that Don Jr. tried to label Michel Cohen the “GLOAT” (greatest liar of all time). Didn’t seem to stick or sway the jury. I think we should label fat ass Don the Con “The BLOAT” (biggest…). I envision a bright blue tee shirt with an orange-headed fat guy in a orange jumpsuit eating a white republican. The caption would say “Stop the BLOAT”.
Man, I’m glad I don’t have kids…
Like everything mouthed or issued by Trump and the Trump Organization, the $35 million figure is a fabrication. The media is way too credulous in reporting it as fact.
It’s a real number. Or, at the least, it very well could be a real number. There’s nothing implausible about that figure under these circumstances.
I disagree. There’s absolutely no evidence to suggest it’s a real number; you’re taking the Trump folks on their word. I would never do that.
You don’t think 500,000 people would give Trump $65? Or 250,000 people would give him $130?
I doesn’t matter. Historically, you disagree with about half of what I say regardless of topic, even when you wholeheartedly agree with the overarching point I’m trying to make. I’m used to it by now.
Be fair: I agree with 70 percent of what you say. But any number out of the Trump Organization is a bogus number. We have fifty years of evidence to support that statement.
Hmm… I don’t think it’s 70%, but I’ll grant you that it might be closer to 70% than 50%.
Don’t these numbers all have to be reported to the FEC or something?
Yeah, eventually. They weren’t reported to the FEC today, and won’t be for some time — months, probably. The Trump Org pulled a number out of its, er, hat, and the media ran with it.
I am going to go out on a limb here- Indiana? Also, I am guessing the hoodie is truly Takahashi (my son-in-law is also a fan) and not of the Nike-Undercover collaboration!
With respect to Trump, I find it (almost) hilarious listening to him refer to Judge Merchan as a “devil”, among other descriptions, and spewing nonsense about the trial- given that Merchan will be sentencing Trump in July. DT could have handled his post-verdict communication with some class; except he doesn’t have any. Who knows where this ends up- but the Republican party looks very foolish for backing Trump. They could have had some backbone and supported anyone, and I mean anyone!, but Trump.
So what does all this mean for SPY in the next 12-24 months?
Yeah, the hoodie’s “pure” / “truly” Undercover: https://heisenbergreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/UCJT-scaled.jpg
That said, I do have the Nike / Undercover mocks which, disappointingly, are the most uncomfortable pair of non-dress shoes I’ve ever owned.
Honestly, “your people” live in LA. Your style and appreciation of good food would be noticed and appreciated there. Lots of fun shopping and amazing restaurants- however, your clothing and also food budgets would have to increase at least ten-fold to really appreciate the good parts of LA.
Problem is, I wouldn’t want you to live somewhere where you might relapse into your former self. I have had a few close calls myself over-indulging there- however, I have been forced to learn how to stay disciplined and to find the best part of LA (because my daughter/son-in-law live there), which is definitely the sanctuary of Marina del Rey. If my daughter/son-in-law figure out how to stay in LA long term (they need way more money), I would rent an apartment there- facing the marina. Fantastic climate.
Hold it a second. Let’s be fair. Trump doesn’t “sell” anybody “hats, t-shirts, NFTs, high-tops, bibles”.
He does enough actual wrong that we don’t need to make things up to criticize him for.
He doesn’t sell those things. He licenses his name to people who sell them.
Same way it gets on all that real estate.
And on those downticket candidates’ campaign materials.
No, he sells them directly. Donald Trump sells that stuff directly.
I never figured you for wearing pants like that lol. H, this is a fantastic piece, I am a man cut from a similar cloth, but not as faux rich. We love what you do.
Call me a cynic but it seems that most of the people in the Republican party, close to half the population, are mentally deficient, demonstrated by their undying belief in, loyalty to and fealty to Trump. They want a government that represents them and they may just get it this fall.
I just looked twice at the Don’s expression in the opening picture. He clearly couldn’t care less, about the oath he’s taking or the person holding the Bible.