Trump Grabs Babysitter John Kelly By The Pussy, Insists Wall Thinking Is Just As Crazy As Ever

We haven’t heard much lately from White House chief of staff and man seen below standing with the other dads bailing their teenage sons out of the drunk tank after a frat party bust, John Kelly:

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Back in October, after a career spent dodging literal bullets, Kelly stepped in the figurative line of fire for his boss when Trump decided to call the widow of a fallen soldier a liar after she accused the President of forgetting her dead husband’s name.

That episode started when Trump, at a press conference in the Rose Garden ostensibly called to discuss tax reform, went off script and accused Barack Obama of not calling the families of fallen soldiers. A couple of days later, facing a barrage of criticism, Trump doubled down and suggested that the media consult John Kelly with regard to whether Obama called him when his son was KIA in Afghanistan. Instead of simply quitting (which you’ve got to know was Kelly’s knee-jerk reaction), John instead held a press conference to defend Trump. That was one of the more bizarre spectacles the media has ever been subjected to, as it put everyone in the rather awkward position of having to choose between calling out blatant bullshit and insulting a war hero.

Ultimately, America gave Kelly a pass in recognition of his family’s sacrifice in the service of the country, but make no mistake, his reputation took a hit and that’s a damn shame. As we wrote in an open letter to Kelly, he’s now been reduced to tap dancing at the behest of an arrogant billionaire who, during the Vietnam War, received four draft deferments for being a college student and later a fifth deferment for bone spurs in his heels.

Since coming on as chief of staff, Kelly has been variously characterized as Trump’s babysitter. At one point (and this was before “Sloppy Steve” was a thing), multiple outlets reported that Trump found himself having to sneak around to call Steve Bannon because Kelly had apparently discouraged contact between the President and his former adviser.

Well on Wednesday evening, Kelly showed up on Fox News to “clarify” a Washington Post story that quoted the chief of staff as describing Trump’s views on the “big beautiful wall” as “uninformed”. Here’s that clip:

 

Right. Trump’s campaign promises about building a giant wall along the entire southern border “may or may not” have been “fully informed.” In other words, Kelly told lawmakers what they already knew, which is that Donald Trump is a moron and no one actually believes that this wall is ever going to get built let alone get built with money provided by Mexico.

As you can imagine, that didn’t go over well with a certain “very stable genius”, who simply cannot let the wall idea go because after all, he’s been shouting about it for more than two years. Cue Trump:

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Obviously, he’s furious at Kelly.

It’s not entirely clear what he means when he says “out of necessity” with regard to the whole “see-through” thing. Initially, the “see-through” idea was pitched as necessary because according to Trump, “cray” Mexicans are killing border agents by tossing “60-pound sacks of stuff” over the existing barrier and the only way to prevent that is to have a see-through wall. Based on those tweets, it looks like that idea might have stemmed from someone suggesting alternatives to a solid concrete barrier.

As far as the mountains and rivers bit is concerned, that’s apparently something that’s also been discussed with him recently because he’s brought it up at least two times over the past several weeks. Make no mistake, Trump has no working knowledge whatsoever of the terrain down there, so what probably happened is this: he was trying to secure XYZ dollars and someone tried to get that number down by telling him that mountains and rivers are their own “wall” and even if they weren’t, building a 30-foot concrete wall in the middle of a raging river and/or over a mountain range is a logistical nightmare.

Finally, that NAFTA comment is a disaster and it’s not what anyone at the negotiating table wanted to hear.

All in all, John Kelly may be on the verge of getting the “Sloppy Steve” treatment and if you don’t believe us on that point, just ask Axios

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