By Doktor Zoom as originally published over at Wonkette and reposted here with permission
Strangely enough, possibly because the world is full of globalists who fail to watch Fox News and didn’t even vote for Donald Trump, a whole bunch of foreigns are reacting to Donald Trump’s comments about “shithole countries” as if he were a racist instead of merely an honest man who just calls ’em as he sees ’em. Maybe because he’s so honest about being a racist.
Here’s UN Human Rights spokesman Rupert Colville condemning Trump’s comments at a meeting in Geneva.
"Shocking and shameful": comments from the President of the United States go "against universal values" according to @UNHumanRights spox Rupert Colville speaking in Geneva today pic.twitter.com/a5D6v4E4mg
— UN Geneva (@UNGeneva) January 12, 2018
“I’m sorry, but there’s no other word one can use but racist,” Colville said, responding to reporters at a news conference in Geneva, Switzerland. “You cannot dismiss entire countries and continents as ‘shitholes’ whose entire populations, who are not white, are therefore not welcome.”
OK, yeah, but YOUR name is RUPERT! Think that’s some kind of tough guy name? Cause it isn’t. It’s not tough at all.
Since Trump singled out Haiti for extra criticism, wondering “Why do we need more Haitians?” and adding “Take them out,” you might expect Haiti’s government would be pretty pissed at us, not that we’d even know, because of course Trump hasn’t even nominated an ambassador to Haiti. And now he might just not, ever, to teach them a lesson about being all Haitian and stuff. Haiti’s government nonetheless condemned Trump’s remarks as racist, and summoned US charge d’affaires Robin Diallo to explain his country’s alleged leader’s alleged remarks.
Hugo Martinez, El Salvador’s foreign minister, acted as if Trump were somehow capable of shame, pointing out that “a good part of those who helped rebuild New Orleans after Katrina were Salvadoran. I feel proud to be Salvadoran.” Which is all fine and well, but has the foreign minister of El Salvador, whose name sounds suspiciously Mexican, ever stood for “The Star Spangled Banner” during a football game? DIDN’T THINK SO. Also, US Ambassador to El Salvador Jean Manes tweeted, in Spanish,
I have had the privilege to travel around this beautiful country and meet thousands of Salvadorans. It is an honor to live and work here. We remain 100% committed.
It’s only a matter of time before Trump demands Manes be investigated for treason. You don’t betray your president like that.
Some of the foreigns got downright disrespectful of the Great Man. Somalia’s information minister, Abdirahman Omar Osman, suggested to CNN that the comments sounded so insane that no real president would say them:
It sounds like fake news to me […] If it’s real, it doesn’t need a response. Those comments do not deserve a response.
Stands to reason someone in Somalia would be pretty adept at finding shade.
Former Mexican president Vicente Fox gave Trump precisely the reply he deserved:
The government of Botswana summoned the US ambassador to “clarify,” no doubt in the greatest possible discomfort, “whether Botswana is regarded as a ‘shithole’ country” and also to explain why “President Trump must use this descriptor and derogatory word when talking about countries with whom the U.S. has had cordial and mutually beneficial bilateral relations for many years.” It’s one hell of a press release:
Kenyan political cartoonist Victor Ndula offered this VERY WHITE House Map of Africa:
In what may do a great deal to impress #NotAllAmericans upon the foreigns, the US Ambassador to Panama, John Feeley, said the hell with it, because he just can’t represent a shithole country. In his resignation letter, Feeley wrote,
As a junior foreign service officer, I signed an oath to serve faithfully the President and his administration in an apolitical fashion, even when I might not agree with certain policies.
My instructors made clear that if I believed I could not do that, I would be honour-bound to resign. That time has come.
Yep. It’s gotten to the point where even MR. FEELEY is too embarrassed to stand for Donald Trump.
And finally, there’s the linguistic puzzle faced by foreign news outlets trying to explain, once again, the American “president.” We think this Croatian paper got it just about right, even if the Daily Beast’s Andrew Kirell had to correct his translation:
Kirell also added a note from a reader who explained the term “the place wolves fuck” best describes “godforsaken places in the middle of nowhere.” You know, like “Outer Bumfuck.”
The Outer Bumfuckian foreign minister expressed shock and horror at any comparison to Donald Trump, and requested an immediate apology.