Listen, Donald Trump didn’t force Rex Tillerson to give a deadpan press conference affirming his loyalty to and confidence in, America’s dotard-in-chief.
Trump wouldn’t do that, ok?
This President has a strong constitution (even though he’s working diligently on making our Constitution weaker). Criticism just rolls of him like water off a duck’s back. Nothing phases him. His skin’s as thick as his caveman skull.
So when NBC revealed that Trump’s Secretary of State once called the President a “f*%&ing moron,” he laughed it off. “The media will be the media” he said, shrugging his shoulders and immediately moving on to more pressing matters.
I’m just kidding. He was furious and he reacted the way you’d expect a man-toddler to react. He got on Twitter and suggested that the Senate should investigate the media, swore up and down that no one would ever call him a “moron” and then, in what was surely one of the “greatest” displays of insecurity the world has ever witnessed, he forced Rex to hold an unscheduled press conference to deny it.
And now we know the details. Guess how we know? Why, because NBC put out another story last night, that’s how! Note how hilarious this is: Donald Trump still doesn’t understand that he can’t intimidate the free press. After nine months he still doesn’t get it. Every time he attacks a media outlet, they just print another story. Then he attacks them again and guess what? They print something else. And there is absolutely nothing he can do about it (“Change libel laws?” Sorry, no. Not gonna happen).
Now let’s bring NBC with the latest:
John Kelly, the White House chief of staff, abruptly scrapped plans to travel with President Donald Trump on Wednesday so he could try to contain his boss’s fury and manage the fallout from new revelations about tensions between the president and Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, according to six senior administration officials.
Kelly summoned Tillerson, and their ally Defense Secretary James Mattis, to the White House, where the three of them huddled to discuss a path forward, according to three administration officials. The White House downplayed Kelly’s decision to stay in Washington, saying he did so to manage day-to-day operations.
Vice President Mike Pence, meanwhile, was fuming in Phoenix, where he was traveling, seven officials told NBC News. He and Tillerson spoke on the phone before the secretary’s public appearance on Wednesday morning.
Four senior administration officials said Trump first learned on Wednesday that Tillerson had disparaged him after a July 20 national security meeting at the Pentagon. Trump vented to Kelly Wednesday morning, leading Kelly to scrap plans to travel with the president to Las Vegas to meet with victims and first responders in Sunday’s mass shooting.
Trump was furious when he saw the NBC News report, which was published shortly before 6 a.m. Wednesday.
For the next two hours the president fumed inside the White House, venting to Kelly, officials said.
That’s right. Trump first learned his Secretary of State called him a “moron” at the exact same time the rest of us learned it, and then while we all spent the next two hours making jokes about the “moronic” dotard, he sat in his office screaming at John Kelly.
How great is that, right? But it gets better.
Remember, Tillerson did not deny that he had in fact called Trump a “moron”:
Reporter: Did you call Trump a moron?
Rex Tillerson: Um ðŸ¤pic.twitter.com/8qPmpAWjcf
— Keith Boykin (@keithboykin) October 4, 2017
If you had to guess, how do you think Trump felt about that? Well, let NBC tell you:
The secretary’s refusal to deny that he had called the president a “moron” in his opening statement and in his responses to questions from reporters stoked Trump’s anger and widened the rift between the two men, officials said.
Yes sir, that’s one angry “moron”.
If you think Tillerson will remain in this post for the duration of this Presidency, you might need to look in the mirror and check if there’s a “dotard” staring back at you.
Finally, in case you were wondering whether people in the White House interpreted Tillerson’s refusal to deny the “moron” comment the same way the rest of us did, the answer is “yes.” Here’s NBC one more time:
After watching the secretary’s response Wednesday, one White House official said, “When Tillerson didn’t deny it, I assumed it was true.”
And with that, we’ll leave you with the latest from The New Yorker’s satirist Andy Borowitz…
Via The New Yorker
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)–Attempting to pour cold water on reports of a rift between him and Donald Trump, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson told reporters on Wednesday that he remains “fully committed to this moron’s agenda.”
“There will always be people in Washington eager to stir controversy when there is none,” Tillerson said, at a hastily called press conference at the State Department. “I am standing here today to tell you that I am on the same page as this idiot.”
Elaborating on that point, the former oil-company C.E.O. stressed that he and Trump were in agreement on a broad range of issues. “From North Korea to Iran to China, there is no daylight between me and this imbecile,” he said.
Tillerson also took pains to deny that he was ever close to resigning from his Cabinet post. “When I promise a cretin that I am going to do a job, I stay until the job is finished,” he said.
Asked to confirm reports that Vice-President Mike Pence had to persuade him not to quit last summer, the Secretary of State refused. “Let’s leave that other moron out of this,” he said.