This is truly hilarious.
Author: therealheisenberg
Ok, So Yeah, That Looks Like Collusion…
“The goal of the Russian spy game is to nudge a person to step over the line into an increasingly conspiratorial relationship.”
Traders, Trump Agree: ‘You Have To Be Long Stocks’
“Love them or hate them, you’ve had to be long equities.”
Presenting: The Trade Of The Day
CZECH CENTRAL BANK RAISES KEY INTEREST RATE TO 0.25%
BoE Sparks UK Stock, Gilt Rally
Buy it all.
6-2! Pound Dives On Dovish BoE Vote Count, Growth Outlook Slashed
BANK OF ENGLAND VOTES 6-2 TO MAINTAIN BENCHMARK INTEREST RATE
Going Off ‘Base’ – Trump’s Losing The Support Of His Voters
“Trump voters “hold different perceptions of justice in the political and economic systems.â€
Key Calls (Thursday): Upgrades, Downgrades & Initiations
You need an upgrade.
Save The Date: By ‘End-March 2019’ The Japanese Stock Market Will Cease To Function
“This could cause the number of shares circulating on the market to almost completely dry up for some stocks.”
An ‘Unprecedented’ Franc Plunge & How To Make ’40-50 Billion’ On A Falling Swissie
Much has been made of the Swiss franc’s epic plunge.Â
And indeed, it has been just that – an epic plunge.
61% Of Stupid White People Now Say Trump Is Insane
“Would you say that Trump is level headed, or not?”
4 Round Numbers, Apple, And Wednesday In Charts
Just another day in Wonderland…
‘Not A Great Report For Bulls!’ Just Another Schizophrenic Day In Crude
Well, crude has had an interesting 24 hours. You’ll recall that oil took a tumble
The Legal Implications For Trump Of Fox’s Seth Rich Story, And Don Jr’s Statement
“There are, however, legal implications in both instances, and beyond that, in the connection between the two.”
Euro Suddenly Jumps To A New 30-Month High, Bullard Blamed
“More! I want more!”
One Strategist Says US Stocks Are ‘Most Expensivest Sh*t’ On The Planet
“If you’re used to eating chicken that costs $5/kg, it’s only natural to look for alternatives if the price rises to $10/kg. The problem is that if beef and pork rise from $10/kg to $50/kg, chicken still looks like the best value.”
The SNB Just Made $133,000,000 In One Morning On Its Apple Shares (Sort Of)
“The mother lode would come if the franc weakened more broadly and the SNB actually started selling its foreign stocks and bonds to prop the currency up, turning paper profits into real ones.”
As Junk Bond Yields Hit Record Lows, A 30% Crash Is Coming – Here’s Why…
“The implication is that high yield credit could be 30%+ mispriced as and when volatility moves back to average.”
There’s A Dip! Quick, Buy That F**ker!
Dip buyers assemble!
3 Inconvenient Facts About Trump’s Presidency
Some inconvenient truths…
‘Gunning For 1.20’: FX Markets ‘Love A Good Story’
“The fact that unemployment remains way too high, political risk deferred isn’t the same as eliminated, and they are nowhere near their inflation target is for later.”
Why Buy Stocks? Just Jump Aboard The Unstoppable Euro Train!
“It’s one of the biggest stories in markets right now.”
The End Of The World: E*Trade Yacht Commercial Edition
“The dumbest guy in high school just bought a boat.”
Parents Should Be ‘Repulsed’ By Trump Playing The Good Dad Card
“As any father would.â€Â
Key Calls (Wednesday): Upgrades, Downgrades & Initiations
You need an upgrade.
This Is Rather Glaring, Wouldn’t You Say?
And really, you shouldn’t worry because after all, there’s always Apple…
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