Remember: Tesla’s Not A Car Company

It's a good thing Tesla's not a car company. If it was, the multiple on the shares would be pretty damn hard to justify by way of sales growth, which clocked in at a not-at-all impressive 2% for Q4 in results released after the bell on Wall Street Wednesday. Automotive revenue fell 8% YoY, Tesla said. Analysts expected $27.3 billion from Tesla's top-line readout. They got just $25.7 billion instead. As the figure reminds you, Tesla's having a helluva hard time moving the needle on the two l

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5 thoughts on “Remember: Tesla’s Not A Car Company

  1. In the past three-months, Tesla has emailed me every offer in the sales book, even placing more intrusive referral banner ads in the app. Meanwhile, the “Make this car less embarrassing again” magnet remains on the back of my wife’s Model Y, which is the last Tesla/Musk product we’ll ever knowingly buy/order.

    Tesla isn’t a car company, it’s a neo-Nazi financing company.

  2. “Tell Michael it was only business, I always liked him.”

    Does all of this political activity mean that Elon’s plan to colonize Mars–before global warming destroys our planet–is going to be postponed indefinitely now? I live in SoCal, and this global warming trend is looking far worse than Tesla’s current bottom line. Perhaps he’s just bored with making cars and rockets now.

    The three things I have always admired about Elon are his vision, his genius, and his ambition. (Is it going too far to say that he made the electric car industry viable almost entirely on his own initiative?) His ambition now seems to be leading him in too many directions at once, polymathy notwithstanding. Did he really throw all of that financial support behind Trump’s campaign just to be the hype man in his political entourage, to be co-head of DOGE, or perhaps to become America’s first minister of propaganda?

    Head of NASA seems too obvious. As head of the Department of Transportation he could try to plan and implement a new highway and road infrastructure equipped with sensors to assist with autonomous driving vehicles. (Lord knows this country needs new roads and bridges, and just think of the jobs that would create.) Or he could work on an incentive program to develop alternative fuel trucking and rail transportation as quickly as possible. As head of the Department of Energy he could work on rebuilding our energy infrastructure to better store and distribute solar and wind power nation-wide as cheaply and efficiently as possible. Wouldn’t any of these ideas make much more linear sense? (Perhaps that is my problem: too much linear thinking.) I mean, it’s not like he is personally ever going to run out of money.

    I know, I know: but Trump is Mr. drill, baby, drill! Our future is going to require all of the energy we can possibly muster to run everything we now have, power AI, and still have some left over to mine for Bitcoin. Elon has stated that we should not vilify fossil fuel and gas in the medium-term, as they are necessary. But his goal (dare I say passion) was always to replace them with more sustainable alternatives to stave-off climate change. Perhaps this is the best he can do as he cannot actually run a department of government and his other interests simultaneously. Then I would say that his current situation only slightly better, and much more confusing to both his current and potential investors. (I actually have friends that have divested their shares of Tesla because they think Elon has either: a.) changed sides, b.) lost his mind, or c.) all of the above.)

    Has he swapped his original goal for something else? Has he now planted himself as a mole inside of the Trump administration to begin effecting change from within? Is he playing some sort 3D chess with all of us? His actions of the past several months have been far more bewildering than they are reassuring. Head of Tesla, head of SpaceX, head of Twitter (currently known as X), head of DOGE. He’s starting to sound like a comic book superhero, except he’s not (although Dr. Buckaroo Bonzai does come to mind). Which is he: Leonardo da Vinci or Howard Hughes? (Perhaps he thinks he is Leonardo DiCaprio, who played Howard Hughes so well in “The Aviator.”)

    I can’t bring myself to invest my hard earned money in a “car company” where the owner is no longer pouring over every detail of making the very best cars he possibly can. Just call me old fashioned. Focusing on affordable solar systems and Powerwall’s is equally acceptable, as I have nothing against a well-run conglomerate. Woking with the government is also understandable, especially if it opens doors for your business. I just think his attention is too divided now. Hopefully we will see some sort of reverse metamorphosis soon. I will admit that you are probably right however: the stock will continue to make tons of money.

    “Tom, can you get me off the hook, for old times sake?” “Can’t do it Sally.” I just can’t do it.

NEWSROOM crewneck & prints