Lebanon’s still a melee, on the off chance you haven’t checked the news.

Early this week, the Israeli military apologized publicly for inadvertently killing three soldiers from the Lebanese regular army. The incident — the third of its kind since last month — occurred on Sunday, after the IDF blew up a truck with a rocket launcher mounted on it. That vehicle belonged to Hezbollah apparently, but a truck spotted driving near the same road later that day didn’t. It was a Lebanese military truck and the three men in it were Lebanese soldiers. “Were” past tense. The IDF incinerated them.

“[We] later concluded that the truck was owned by the Lebanese Army,” Israel said, matter-of-factly, adding that the IDF is “not operating” against Lebanon’s regular troops and “apologizes for these unwanted circumstances.”

Fast forward to Monday and there were more “unwanted circumstances.” Several innocents, including at least one child, were killed in front a hospital in Beirut where Israeli warplanes are engaged in a highly aggressive effort to dismantle Hezbollah’s economic infrastructure, including and especially all physical manifestations of Al-Qard al-Hasan.

Officially, Al-Qard al-Hasan’s a non-profit. A licensed NGO. A charity. It functions as a lender in Lebanon’s crisis-stricken economy, and consistent with Islamic law, there’s generally no interest (just say no to riba) on small loans which locals collateralize with gold and whatever valuables and trinkets they might possess.

Al-Qard al-Hasan does other things too. You can store your money there, for example. Don’t underestimate the appeal of that in a failed state. Who would you trust to keep your savings safe: The official institutions of a collapsing government, or the mafia? Probably the mafia, even if the mafia’s a big reason why the government’s unstable.

To be clear: Al-Qard al-Hasan’s role as a shadow-banking extension of Hezbollah is the furthest thing from a secret. This isn’t the US hunting down shadowy terrorist financiers nobody’s ever heard of. Al-Qard al-Hasan’s as old as Hezbollah itself. Everyone knows what it is and one thing it isn’t is on the up and up. OFAC-designated for nearly two decades, Al-Qard al-Hasan’s the conduit through which Hezbollah accesses hard currency and taps into the international banking system.

Long story short, Israel’s going to blow it up now. And not like other banks “blow up” from time to time. Rather, the IDF’s in the process of literally blowing it up. With missiles.

Some of those missiles — or missiles like them — hit several buildings located just 150 feet from the Rafik Hariri University Hospital on Monday. That’s no good. Rafik Hariri’s the largest public hospital in the whole country.

“We were subject to an attack yesterday,” Jihad Saadeh, the hospital’s administrator, said Tuesday at a press conference. “Whether it was targeted or not, we don’t know, but Israel has no red lines.” As one New York Times reporter stationed in Beirut noted, “The Israeli military issued evacuation warnings for some areas south of Beirut ahead of the strikes, but the one near [the] hospital was not in an area covered by any warnings.”

Naturally, Israel said it didn’t target the hospital, but rather a nearby “Hezbollah terror target.” Just like the IDF wasn’t trying to kill three Lebanese regular soldiers over the weekend, but rather Hezbollah fighters operating in a “combat zone.” Nevertheless, at least one child, a dozen adults and a trio of (ostensibly) unaligned soldiers are beyond repair, just like Israel’s international reputation.

Meanwhile, Benjamin Netanyahu knows where the cash and the gold are buried: Under a hospital!

“There are hundreds of millions of dollars in cash and gold inside the bunker right now,” Daniel Hagari alleged, of an underground vault purportedly located beneath Al-Sahel General, in Dahiya.

Hagari demanded — sorry, “called on” — the Lebanese government, such as it is, and unnamed “international organizations” to prevent Hezbollah from accessing the money. “The Israeli Air Force is monitoring the compound,” he went on, adding that Israel won’t “strike the hospital itself.” All the same, the facility was evacuated.

According to the IDF, the bunker houses around half a billion in hard currency and bullion. That’s a lot of dollars, euros and gold. Especially in Lebanon, which is grappling with hyperinflation. And Hagari just drew the whole country — indeed, the whole world — a treasure map to the late Hassan Nasrallah’s pirate bounty. Who wants to go plunderin’?!

“Mr. President, we have the prime minister on the phone.” “Ugh. Ok, put him through.”

“Joe, good news!”

“Ceasefire?!”

“No. Never.”

“Oh.”

“Even better: We found half a billion in the budget! How many 2,000-pound bombs will that get us and how quickly can you get them here?”

“Ummm, well I’m kinda on my way out the doo–”

“Oh! And just FYI, around $150 million of it’s in gold bracelets, rings, anklets, silver cutlery and miscellaneous beads. But don’t worry, it’s all unencumbered now.”